Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Yes, We're Still Here: Lowest Rated Products of 2011

You may have noticed a lack of new content. Well, it's right after the big holiday explosion and right before New Year's Eve. Hot Inkers are scattered across the US and Canada as it is, but this week has many of them entertaining family or traveling far from home. Instead of reviews, we'll be posting lists and such. You like lists, don't you?

Today, enjoy our Lowest Rated Products of 2011. These are the ones that got inked, with no redeemable qualities. Why not revisit some of them? Maybe there's one on this list that you haven't read yet. Sounds like a great way to kill time at work to me!

Lady Speedstick by Figgy


"All because of your hippie product that smelled of Satan's Rotting Butthole."

"With a price tag of 12$, leave this one on the shelf. That 12$ would be better spent buying bath salts to throw at squirrels."

"I may or may not have taken one bite of these, made a face and thrown it at the ground while screaming "UNCLEAN!""

"As you can see, the stencil does not maintain its shape or ability to competently block the polish from looking like shit."

"The cherry flavor wasn't too bad, but the horribly sweet aftertaste had my teeth clenching in revulsion."

"$34.50?!? Oh hell no."

"Add in the douchiness of their brand image, and I’m not in favor of this line at all."

" I stood back after finishing the application, and it looked like someone had taken an especially dark, strategically placed poop on my lashes."

"I even hated putting it on, both because my brain couldn't separate the smell from thoughts of "Holy shit I'm spreading plastic on my face" and because it just felt weirdly gloopy and heavy."

"For that much money I should have walked out of my bathroom looking like I would be carded while trying to get into an R-rated movie and I thought that pores were something that happened to less fortunate people."

"Let's not even think about needing the acetone to basically eat the polish off my fingers--I'm guessing that's super healthy!"

"It smells like Grandma's potpourri dialed up to eleven."

"I would have been better off using syphoned-off McDonald’s french fry grease or perhaps just dunking my head in a vat of whale barf."

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