Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave: Demulcent!

Dixie

My last foray into shave cream was not a huge success, but when I saw the tube of Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave sitting on the shelf in my local health food store, all reservations flew out of my brain. I thought, "Ooohh! Shiny!" So I grabbed the Coconut Lime scent and excitedly gave my card to the cashier.

Before using the shave cream the first time, I flipped over the bottle to read the instructions, because I read the back of everything I buy. Every. Thing. It's a good thing I did since the instructions on how to get the best result are pretty specific. Spread a thin layer over the area to be shaved, the thinner the better. The last shave cream I used required exactly the opposite - I couldn't get a thick enough layer on to avoid irritation - so I was skeptical. After a few passes with the razor, my skepticism dissolved. I got a great shave with zero irritation. In fact, I actually put the cream on too thick on my first leg and had to rinse my razor every two passes, so I put less on my other leg and got an even better result.

Pro-Curl Tweezerman Eye Lash Curler: Serious Business

Metric Jenn

It was a warm summer day back in the year 2000 when I was over at an old friend's apartment, just drinking the last bit of instant coffee and lounging about. We were bored...the kind of bored that only broke university students can be. No money for anything, not even enough to go out to the cheap movie theatres. We didn't even have enough money to put gas in the car. Basically, we were beyond white trash poor. Even the tv was disconnected. This obviously leads to desperation: we decided to get drunk on the last bit of boxed wine and the shitty Coors Lite beers (left over from the asshole that brought them to the last party) and do each other's makeup.

The result of that night still resounds in my life today.

Gillette Venus & Olay Razor: Five Blades And Glitter

Pinky McLadybits

You know what women like? GLITTER. Glitter on their feminine products, glitter in their lotions, glitter on their phones, glitter on packaging and razor handles. GLITTER. Give us glitter and we no longer care that the tampons leak, the glitter lotion doesn't moisturize so well, that the glitter chunks fall off our phones, and that our razors don't actually shave hair properly.

At least that's what I assume the people in charge of products for women must think.

The glittering packaging of the Gillette Venus & Olay Razor proclaims that it "helps replenish skin's moisture" with the moisture bars that flank the top and bottom of their five blades. Maybe that's true. I know that I didn't need to use any shaving lotion in order to keep from nicking up my legs or making the blades run smoothly over my skin. 

Pivot! PIVOT! PIVOOOOT!: Gillette Venus Sensitive Disposable Razors

Figgy

Hallelujah and blessed be, I've finally found a disposable razor that I don't want to throw into the deepest pits of fiery hell!

You can't see me right now, but I'm raising the roof, here in my pajamas, like the biggest dork in the history of the planet. That's how happy I am.

I've always liked Venus razors. They're not perfect but they do the job and last forever, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a good enough reason to keep buying them forever. But I was intrigued by how the packaging claimed that the new Venus Sensitive razors had a pivoted head that contoured to your body.

Ultra Effective: Arm & Hammer UltraMax Deodorant

Vee

I live in Houston,  the armpit of Texas.  It gets hot and muggy starting in April and stays that way until October.  You get sweaty and oily just walking from your door to your car so when it comes to deodorant, I need something that works. 

I ran out of Secret Clinical Strength deodorant and was at the ghetto grocery that didn't carry the $10 deodorant I usually buy.  I spied some Arm & Hammer UltraMax varieties for about $2.50, so I picked one up in Powder Fresh to hold me over til I could get to Target.

Birchbox Treats: Schick Hydro Silk Razor

Pinky McLadybits

Birchbox really knows the way to this girl's heart. Just hours after I stood in the shaving aisle of Target and decided I didn't want to pay more for razor refills than all the other items in my cart, my Birchbox arrived. Inside was Schick Hydro Silk razor, along with coupons for refills if I liked the product.

That, my dear readers, is a SCORE.

Schick is already my go-to brand when it comes to keeping my legs smooth(ish) and mostly free of stupid hairs. I usually employ the services of Schick Quattro for that purpose. Lately it hasn't been removing hair well at all. New blades haven't made a difference at all and I was pissed. Perhaps Schick Hydro Silk could be my new razor buddy?

Lush Aromaco and Coconut Deodorant

Dixie

Does anyone besides me have a problem with finding a deodorant that works consistently, all the time? My body seems to have this weird quick that after a period of time the antiperspirant/deodorant I wear on a daily basis, no matter what brand or how strong, eventually stops working. I don't know if it gets used to the chemicals in the formula or if my body chemistry periodically changes, but every brand I've ever used has eventually failed me.

Over the course of my teens years and adulthood, I have tried literally every store brand, a few health food store brands, and even the roll-on formula by Shaklee. Actually, the Shaklee formula was the best one, working for a full two years before going down in a cloud of sweat.

The Many Uses of Dr. Bronner's Liquid Castile Soap: Shaving Soap

Dixie

Shaving cream and I will never be friends. I just don't like it. At $3 a pop for the cheapest, and I do mean CHEAP, cream it isn't really that expensive, but it just seems so expensive. Each bottle lasts for only a few weeks, you have to use so much product each time, and the empty bottles create so much waste. There is a better way. For the past ten years, I've used shave cream or gel maybe three or four times. For a while I used Suave conditioner, which does a decent job. Then I discovered Dr. Bronner's Liquid Castile Soap. The late Dr. Bronner claimed that his soap had 18 different uses; well, it has a lot more than that and shaving is only one.

Dove Body Wash for Sensitive Skin

Figgy

I think you all know by now of my undying love for The Body Shop's bath gels and their delicious smelling lathery goodness. But alas,  I realized (when the last drops of my Shea Butter Gel disappeared, *sob*) that I really can't afford to throw $8 for a bath gel I love so much it disappears in 10 days. So I needed to find something that had: 1)a lot more product, 2) was reasonably priced and 3) was gentle enough to not make my extremly sensitive skin break out into rashes at the end of a shower.

After staring at the bath gel aisle at Target for what felt like 15 hours, I finally decided to go with what I knew (and was recommended by a Hot Inker!): Dove Body Wash. I picked out the Sensitive Skin version because it claimed to be soap-free, and took it home with me.

From the start, I really liked that the gel had a very soft, gentle fragrance. It's almost not there. It's got a very thick consistency and a little makes for a lot of rich lather, which I loved. Once I washed it off there was no icky feeling of residue and best of all, my skin didn't immediately feel dried up as it does with most body washes.

Olay Soothing Cucumber Body Wash: I Smell Like a Damn Garden

Metric Jenn

I love body washes. Seriously. It takes a regular shower and turns it into a tropical fucking vacation in my mind before I have to face the reality of a crap annoying day job filled with dealing with jerks and enough paperwork to take down an inebriated giraffe. 

The collection of body washes in my bathroom is staggering and, as I was rummaging around for my next scent, I came upon Olay's Soothing Cucumber infused with avocado oil. It seemed good; a moisturizing body wash with a fresh scent to send me off to work perky and ready to take on the world and not kill any co-workers.

So Relaxing: Made From Earth Lavender Calm Soap

Dixie

Full disclosure: Made From Earth provided me with a free bar of soap to try and review. Had I not liked the soap, no review would have been written.

I have a weakness for soaps. And I have a weakness for a good lavender. Finding a good organic soap has gotten easier in the past few years, but finding a good lavender is still hit and miss. Some lavender products smell like old lady laundry, some hardly have any lavender smell at all. Neither of those things are particularly relaxing. But a good lavender can help you start your day off right - nice and relaxed before you go to work and all hell breaks loose.

Swampass Is Natural Too: Tom's of Maine Naturally Dry Antiperspirant Deodorant

 Dixie

Maybe it's my fault. I was working under the assumption that a deodorant was supposed to make your pits less smelly and that an antiperspirant was supposed to help you not sweat. That's what I expected of Tom's of Maine Naturally Dry Antiperspirant Deodorant. No, wait, that's what it's supposed to do. I expected the product to work. 

There are few beauty disasters that are more distressing than discovering midday that your armpits smell.  And not only do they smell, but you have white streaks all under your arms and your shirt is sticking to your armpits.  OH MY GOD, so gross. I get squicked out all over again just thinking about it. Such was my experience with the Tom's of Maine Naturally Dry Antiperspirant Deodorant. 

Agree To Disagree: Schick Quattro Razors are the Best!

MelBivDevoe

Recently, my esteemed colleague and Rantmaster General, Figgy, wrote a review about Schick Quattro Disposable Women's Razors in which she gave the product a big fat 0 out of 8 tentacles.   I was a little perplexed upon reading this review, as I've been using the razors for several years now and have yet to be dissatisfied.  Seriously.  Several YEARS.

Me while reading her review.

Someone Must Pay! Schick Quattro Disposable Women's Razors

Figgy

I think I've mentioned before that I am possibly the hairiest person you will ever meet in your life. God, that sounds attractive. But I am, and at 28 I've finally come to accept it. I've accepted that surviving the summer will mean shaving at least every other day, as that's how long it takes for my legs to start looking like a half-assed porcupine. I am honestly not exaggerating in the least. I'd take pictures for proof, but no one needs to see that.

Anyway. Because I'm also a cheap idiot, I tend to buy disposable razors, and I've been using the same brand for years. But this time my local Kroger didn't have them for some godforsaken reason, and I was desperate, After way too long a search (how do you even choose from so many products?!) I picked up these Schick Quattros, as they were cheaper and didn't look like murder weapons. And, unlike many others, the blades weren't surrounded by that ring of white crap that so many razors have nowadays. You know the rings I mean? They're awful.

Go Ahead, Get Your Giggles Out: Poo-Pourri

Dixie 

That's right ladies and gentleman, we're going to Go There. Today, we're going to talk about poo. I see you giggling back there. Don't even pretend like you don't poo. As Taro Gomi said, everyone poops. And, unfortunately, everybody, even the most delicate flowers among us, experience the unpleasant odor that is associated with poo.

Many remedies have been tried in countless office restrooms and house bathrooms, but to little avail. Sure, at home you can burn a match to kill the smell afterward, but you still have to suffer during. And forget about matches or candles in an office restroom. All of us, at some point in time, have held our noses and breathed through our mouths to avoid sniffing in the dreaded air freshener and poo smell combination. *horf* I gag even just thinking about it. But, this is no mere product that attempts to mask the odor of poo with cloying perfume. No. It stops the odor at the source. 

I'm about to Get Up on My Soapbox: Made from Earth's Blood Orange Soap:

Tamatha

For fall, winter, and spring, I am all about the shower gel.  But summer?  That's another matter all together.  In the summer, I want something that is going to leave my skin feeling nothing but clean.  I want something that's going to cut right through the sweat and sunscreen.  I want to leave the shower feeling like I'm the cleanest thing on the whole effin' planet.  In the summer, I break out the bars of soap.

Surgi Wax Brow Shapers: I'm Gonna Rip That Hair Right Out By The Root!

Pinky McLadybits

My eyebrows were getting crazy, y'll. Tweezing is always an option, but my bangs tend to cover my brows which causes me to forget they need dealt with until I apply makeup or something. At that point, I don't want the angry red welts above and below my brows. (Yes, I know that you really aren't supposed to pluck above your brows. I do what I want.)

Whilst browsing ULTA, I noticed Surgi Wax Brow Shapers. For Brows. They were $4.99 and boasted 28 applications. That sounded promising. If they failed, well, thank the God of Hair for bangs.

Degree Women Natureffects With Absorbing Sea Salt: Better Than Nothing

Pinky McLadybits

I am so sad because I have been unable to find my favorite deodorant, Secret Smooth Effects. This makes me entirely too sad, as it is just a toiletry product. But it is one that works and smells pretty. )And I just found it on Amazon....)

Instead of my Secret, I decided to try Degree Women Natureffects With Absorbing Sea Salt. I didn't realize sea salt was something I would want smeared under my arms, so I was intrigued. I also thought that I had heard good things about Degree deodorant overall, so I was willing to see if it could replace my beloved.

up&up Women's Electric Razor: Can Inanimate Objects Burn In Hell?

Pinky McLadybits

I couldn't find a picture of the razor, so I chose the photo at left to represent how well it performed.

GARRRRGGGGHHHH!

Once again, I had not learned my lesson. I balked at the prices of razor refills and thought maybe I would use an electric razor instead. After all, summer is on the way and it would be faster than using a regular razor. If it worked, that is. And it totally doesn't work.

Ooops! I Did It Again!: Bic Soleil Disposable Razors

Pinky McLadybits

My legs are burning. BURNING. I had razor refills on my list and instead opted to get these disposable monstrosities. For you. For you people. I only live to serve and protect you and I BLEED FOR YOOOOOU!

I grabbed the Bic Soleil Lady disposable razors and chucked them into my cart. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have walked over to the housewares aisles, broken a plate, purchased it and used it to shave my legs. I would have gotten the same results. 

Pfft, I am not dramatic.