Aveeno Body Wash: Energize Me So I Don't Feel Like Murdering Everyone At Work, Please.

Metric Jenn

It is the middle of winter, I have no vacation time left, and there is no winter sojourn down to Mexico in my future. My patience with everything and everyone is at an end, and it's a virtual Herculean Feat to get myself out of bed in the morning to go to work. Generally, I need SOMETHING new to motivate me, or just give me that little boost in the morning that isn't a ninth cup of coffee or meth-amphetamines. And so I turned to Aveeno for some help. I picked up the Energizing Body Wash with lemongrass, rosemary, and mint at Safeway about three weeks ago.  I paid 7.99$ for a 16 oz bottle, a bit on the more expensive side for body washes. 

Level-Up Your Workout: Fitocracy

Rusty

It’s January, so I’m sure we've all got some resolutions we’re working on, or just some promises to ourselves that we’d like to keep for longer than a couple weeks. A lot of those sorts of things seem to center around working out, working up to running a 5K, taking better care of your body, or just gaining the ability to go up two flights of stairs without getting winded. But it’s hard to keep your motivation up for that first month or so when you’re not seeing any immediate improvement, and the gym is crowded, and it’s really cold to go outside. Determination can help. But so can points, leveling up, quests, achievements, and taunting your own competitive nature. This is why I’m a member of Fitocracy. 

Herbal Essences: Honey I'm Strong - Honey, You Ain't Lyin'

Metric Jenn

I haven't had much luck with shampoos and conditioners, you guys. I try and I try...but my hair is very crabby. It could be due to the fact that I haven't gotten a haircut in ages; but with my tight budget, some things take priority. 

*ahem*doggyhaircutsinstead*ahem*

Anyhow, as I was waiting in Safeway for my prescription to be filled, I wandered amongst the hair care aisle. The Honey, I'm Strong by Herbal Essences catches my eye, simply because I'd never seen it before as a part of their product line.

Aromas Artesanales De Antigua Luxury Hand Cream: Massage Me Like One of Your Guatemalan Girls

Metric Jenn

(This review may be a bit on the crazy side, as I am currently suffering back pain and the Doc gave me some sweet, sweet painkilling relief.)

I've been sitting on this product for about 3 months now. I bought it in Santa Barbara from this froo-froo hippie shop (don't ask me what it was called; I barely remember my own name). I was looking for more lotions to add to my hoarder-like collection at home. I smelled each lotion and made my choice based on how Lindsay Lohan-ish I felt. You see, I'd just visited the court house in which she was sentenced and it was like my Mecca.

Time to Break Out your Winter Topcoats: Nails Inc. The Donmar Topcoat

Rusty

Nail polish is probably one of my more frivolous hobbies. I’m not especially good at it, I don’t wear it that often, and I’m terrible at not chipping it within two or three days. But I love nail polish, I’m too poor for manicures, and having a row of little candy-colored bottles lined up on my dresser makes me happy. So I look for deals, and recently I found a great one.

Sephora was selling off some nail kits and I found one for The Donmar Collection featuring the Donmar topcoat and Chelsea polish for $10. The topcoat features clear, iridescent bits that color shift in the light. The polish was a deep plum that looks almost black with two coats. Application was pretty standard, two coats of Chelsea, wait for it to dry, and then another two layers of the Donmar top coat. Right away it began to look good, with the iridescent bits shifting in the light. The effect was completed with a clear top coat and about ten minutes of walking around being very careful about touching things. 

Pour Me Another, Barista!: Trader Joe's Spicy Chai Tea Latte Mix

Pinky McLadybits

Hey, kids! I know we've been quiet around here lately, what with my losing a close friend, the holidays, and my new gig at Pajiba. However, we are hoping to get back up and rolling with reviews you can use! Dixie has been a key component in kicking my ass into gear and we should all thank her and give her lovely presents.

Onward to the review!

After an encounter with some exceedingly vile red grapes purchased from grocery chain Kroger, I have begun doing the bulk of my food shopping at the local Trader Joe's. Kroger has been demoted to bread, ice cream, and milk since TJ's bread spoils faster than we can eat it and I love my Ben & Jerry's. So I was at Trader Joe's today and decided to splurge on a treat for myself: Spicy Chai Latte Mix. 

Joico Leave-In Detangler: Happy Happy Joy Joy?

Metric Jenn

Hey all, it's Metric Jenn here, once again! Now, I'm not going to lie...this review sat up in my brain, brewing away because I wasn't sure how to properly convey how this product works, not to mention how I felt about it. And so the image that you see of darling Ren & Stimpy may be a a macguffin...OR IS IT?

YOU MUST READ TO FIND OUT...after the jump!

Enjoy Life Gluten-Free Cookies: Thanks, I'll Try.

Nora

Going gluten and dairy free after decades of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, is not easy. See, I love food. I love food so much it's stupid. There is a very short list of Things I Will Not Eat, and it's basically mayonnaise and burgers from McDonald's (those are NOT hamburgers and don't you dare tell me otherwise). I was bred from the foodiest food-snob stock, and so much of my family's identity is wrapped up in our celebration of The Meal. Recalling any night during high school or a visit home from college, I can picture a number of us hanging out in the kitchen, making dinner together. Mom or dad hovers around the stove, while my siblings and I chop vegetables, whisk salad dressing, and steal hunks of rustic bread from the center of the table, swiping them in olive oil. There were usually candles, and fresh herbs from the garden. My parents are a slightly more middle class Williams-Sonoma catalog come to life, is what I'm saying, and it would be obnoxious if they weren't so goddamn nice and the food wasn't so good.

Cinnamon & Sugar and White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles: 'Tis the Season, I Guess

Mel Biv Devoe

It's an understatement to say that the holidays are a very lucrative time of year for most companies.  And everyone wants a piece of the pie... which sometimes leads those who aren't usually associated with Christmas to come up with wacky ideas in order to goose their profits.  Like Pringles, for example.  They make potato crisps, which are similar to potato chips in theory, at least.  Did you know Pringles are made from dried potatoes, which are combined with wheat and flour?  They're like a slurry of ingredients that are pressed and fried into potato crisp-shape.  I guess "crisps" is a more appealing name than "potato, wheat, rice, and corn slurry."

What was I talking about again?  Oh, right, Pringles is trying to cash in on all the holiday hubbub with several limited edition flavors.  I found two of these flavors, Cinnamon and Sugar and White Chocolate Peppermint, and decided to give them a try.  Because even if it's not the healthiest of snacks, I do love me some potato crisp slurry.

Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave: Demulcent!

Dixie

My last foray into shave cream was not a huge success, but when I saw the tube of Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave sitting on the shelf in my local health food store, all reservations flew out of my brain. I thought, "Ooohh! Shiny!" So I grabbed the Coconut Lime scent and excitedly gave my card to the cashier.

Before using the shave cream the first time, I flipped over the bottle to read the instructions, because I read the back of everything I buy. Every. Thing. It's a good thing I did since the instructions on how to get the best result are pretty specific. Spread a thin layer over the area to be shaved, the thinner the better. The last shave cream I used required exactly the opposite - I couldn't get a thick enough layer on to avoid irritation - so I was skeptical. After a few passes with the razor, my skepticism dissolved. I got a great shave with zero irritation. In fact, I actually put the cream on too thick on my first leg and had to rinse my razor every two passes, so I put less on my other leg and got an even better result.

Benefit Stay Don't Stray Eye Primer: Never Creases To Amaze Me

Dixie

There are few cosmetic mishaps that I despise more than creased eye shadow. When you look in the mirror and see that the eye shadow you carefully applied that morning has migrated entirely into the crease of your lid, it's disheartening. It's like, I know I'm tired and ready to go home, Face. You don't need to produce enough oil on my eyelids to make sure everyone else knows it too.  Unfortunately, my Face never listened to me scolding it. So, I defeated it with the magic of MOAR COSMETICS.

Er, well, not at first. I've been through many an eye primer. Most of the brands I have used in the past simply didn't work. They just added another layer of oil to make my eye shadow slide into my crease, but with the added paradoxical benefit of not blending out due to the primer. Once again, Sephora samples to the rescue. I first discovered the Benefit Stay Don't Stray Eye Primer in a 500-point sample kit. After using the entire tiny bottle, I happily shelled out $26 for a full-size bottle.

Out of Africa Pure Shea Butter Lip Balm with Vitamin E

Dixie

When I see a new brand of natural lip balm in the health food store, it's hard to resist buying it. If it's on sale? Forgot about it. That lip balm is coming home with me. So it was with Out of Africa Pure Shea Butter Lip Balm with Vitamin E. Orange cream flavor, no less.

I've talked about my awesome all-natural cocoa and shea butter based promotional lip balms before, right? Right. I'm on my last tube *single tear*, so I'm on the hunt for a suitable replacement. I want a balm that will coat my lips nicely while actually moisturizing and that lasts a while. Oh, and I want one with both shea butter and cocoa butter. Not that I'm picky. A quick look at the ingredients tells me that this fits the bill. Now, will the proportions of shea butter to cocoa butter be equal to my favorite?

Bio-Oil: Scar Tissue That I Wish You Saw.

Metric Jenn

I was just introduced to this product by a lovely lady who lives all the way down in San Diego, otherwise known as "The Whale's Vagina". I was on vacation, and thoroughly enjoying the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, sunshine, and basically being not at work. One day I was complaining vociferously about having crocodile skin on my elbows resulting in strange clusters of freckles. It's ridiculous, and a source of wonder to all those who notice, while being perplexing to myself.

Well, in waltzes Mademoiselle Parissa with her well-moisturized, glowing skin, and I got so damn jealous. I started shrieking about my elbows at her, like they were somehow her fault.

GOSH Professional: Curl It Baby! Defining Cream

Metric Jenn

Please excuse the crappy picture of this product...but it seems to be a rare enough find to not have any results on the Google Image search! Well, lah-dee-freakin-dah. It looks like I've finally hipstered a hair product. I started using this BEFORE it was cool. "But Metric Jenn," you are all asking, "What on earth is that a blurry photo of?" To which I reply, "Don't end your sentences in a preposition, that's just bad form. Oh, and it's this Curl Defining Cream I randomly picked up for like 18$ at Shopper's Drug Mart."

So as long as you stop ending your questions in prepositions, I will gladly introduce you to my new go-to product to stop fly-aways and give a bit more definition to my spirals.

Molly 'n Me Glow in the Dark Nail Polish: Don't You Know that You're Toxic?

Tamatha

A little over a month ago, I was on Martha's Vineyard for a wedding (that sounds a lot posh-er than my life actually is). After my friends and I had a fabulous lunch at The Net Result, we were wandering around the little shopping center there and decided to check out The Toy Box, a cool looking toy store.  My eye was caught by a container of nail polishes, some of which were glow in the dark.  That, my friends, was something I could not resist.  Not only did the glow-in-the-dark nail polish speak to the part of me attracted to tacky-ish things, but it was only $4.00, so it felt like a totally reasonable purchase--especially in a place like the Vineyard where things are quite pricey.

Of course, it was only later, that the rational side of my brain pointed out that this nail polish was probably exactly the sort of product I avoid: completely unnatural, no doubt tested on animals (the poor bunnies!), and, I was willing to bet, made in China.  So serious demerits for me.  Listen, I need one of you readers who normally doesn't care about such things to buy some natural product made here in the US of A (or your home country, I'm not picky) and not tested on animals to cancel this purchase of mine out, okay?

Anyway, the nail polish in question is, Molly 'n Me Glow in the Dark Nail Polish.  I picked out this awesome shade of bluish-purple.  In fact, that was part of why I decided to get the nail polish, because it came in a great shade of blue that I wanted anyway.  I was really excited to try it.  I finally got around to giving it a whirl shortly before Halloween.

Pro-Curl Tweezerman Eye Lash Curler: Serious Business

Metric Jenn

It was a warm summer day back in the year 2000 when I was over at an old friend's apartment, just drinking the last bit of instant coffee and lounging about. We were bored...the kind of bored that only broke university students can be. No money for anything, not even enough to go out to the cheap movie theatres. We didn't even have enough money to put gas in the car. Basically, we were beyond white trash poor. Even the tv was disconnected. This obviously leads to desperation: we decided to get drunk on the last bit of boxed wine and the shitty Coors Lite beers (left over from the asshole that brought them to the last party) and do each other's makeup.

The result of that night still resounds in my life today.

Gillette Venus & Olay Razor: Five Blades And Glitter

Pinky McLadybits

You know what women like? GLITTER. Glitter on their feminine products, glitter in their lotions, glitter on their phones, glitter on packaging and razor handles. GLITTER. Give us glitter and we no longer care that the tampons leak, the glitter lotion doesn't moisturize so well, that the glitter chunks fall off our phones, and that our razors don't actually shave hair properly.

At least that's what I assume the people in charge of products for women must think.

The glittering packaging of the Gillette Venus & Olay Razor proclaims that it "helps replenish skin's moisture" with the moisture bars that flank the top and bottom of their five blades. Maybe that's true. I know that I didn't need to use any shaving lotion in order to keep from nicking up my legs or making the blades run smoothly over my skin. 

Doctor Knows Best: Physician's Formula Youthful Wear

Metric Jenn

I'm back, everyone! I went on vacation for 2 weeks and it was GLORIOUS. I am refreshed and ready to write. I'm going to be all the bitch I can be! And it starts here, with Physician's Formula Youthful Wear concealer. You see, when packing, I took into consideration many things: changing skin tone after laying in the sun, flakiness from drying skin, climate change...the works. What I didn't account for was the jerkoff(s) that loaded and unloaded my luggage from the 3 flights it took me to get to L.A. And so it was at my destination that I discovered the Make Up Forever concealer explosion that took place in my make up bag. A few things were lost. A few tears were shed.

Hawaiian Tropic Aloha Kiss Moisturizing Lip Gloss

Pinky McLadybits

Influenster was nice enough to choose me over the summer for their Beauty VoxBox program. One of the items I reviewed was Hawaiian Tropic Silk Hydration Lotion Sunscreen SPF30. Influenster enjoyed my review enough to choose me as one of the winners of their Hawaiian Tropic Prize Pack. 

The prize pack included a beach towel, a t-shirt, a full-size of the sunscreen, and Hawaiian Tropic Aloha Kiss Moisturizing Lip Balm SPF20 in Island Berry. I was pleased with everything in the prize pack, especially the lip gloss. I already have two or three gloss/lip balm sticks in my purse, but I can always use something else!

Not Your Mother's Smooth Moves Frizz Control Cream

Pinky McLadybits

I was chosen to receive an Influenster Beauty VoxBox again. One of the items I received was this Not Your Mother's Smooth Moves Frizz Control Cream. This is a very good thing since I am terrible about choosing products to help me tame my thick, slightly wavy, totally uncooperative hair. I was so happy to have the chance to try something without paying for it.

My hair ends up frizzy after drying regardless of the season and with the cold weather I end up blow drying more. Blow drying frizzes me out too. I've tried other smoothing techniques and serums, so I had a feeling it would probably be a miracle if this stuff worked.