March InStyle Magazine: Heinous Clothes Are Allegedly Trendy!

Pinky McLadybits

Jennifer Aniston is the cover girl for a ginormous March issue of InStyle. It's a 552 page MEGA-ISSUE! 6 Steps to Spring Cleaning Your Wardrobe! 50 AMAZING NEW SHOES! Hot New Makeup Colors (fluorescent beige, Figgy's favorite?). I'm hoping that 352 of these pages aren't ads, but I'm not holding my breath. 

28 advertisements, 27 over two pages, equaling 55 pages of ads total before the table of contents. Then 2-3 ads between each page of the contents. Seriously, three or four spreads of ads between one page of content.
LAME.

InStyle Magazine for February: Barrymore, Louboutins, and Boredom

Pinky McLadybits

Drew Barrymore is InStyle's February 2012 cover girl. While looking for a nice photo of the cover to share with all of you, I found that Barrymore is engaged. Again. Dude, I still thought she was dating Justin Long. These guys really jump the gun on trying to lock these actresses down. Dumbasses.

I would also like to go on record as saying that I hate Drew's hair. I really hate that this whole "purposely dark roots and lighter ends" thing has gone from trailer to chic. Ombre? Whatevs.

Anyway, this month's cover proclaims SEXIER BY TONIGHT: 10 SHORTCUTS TO HOT! THE NEW RULES OF FIGURE FLATTERY! 20 SUPER AMAZING SHOES! INSTANTLY DOUBLE YOUR WARDROBE OPTIONS! 

They really need to get someone over the age of 14 to write their cover blurbs. And maybe invest in some lowercase letters. Please and thank you.

Pinky Reads InStyle Magazine: January 2012

Pinky McLadybits

I don't know if anyone reads these magazine recaps, but any feedback you could give me in the comments or our Facebook page or our Twitter (@hotinkreviews) would be appreciated.

Jennifer Garner and her excessively hidden baby bump are on the cover of this month's InStyle. The cover also screams at us about 2012 IS YOUR YEAR! JUST BE MORE FUN. GET FLAWLESS SKIN. REWORK YOUR WARDROBE. Yikes.

I should point out that this issue is really thin compared to all other issues. Who knows how many overpriced candles we'll get in such a tiny tome? But we will soldier on and pray that inside we find at least three candles priced over $40 and something leather and ugly. 

Holidays Are For Gifts & Weight Fears!:The December 2011 Issue of InStyle

Pinky McLadybits

Amy Adams is this month's InStyle cover girl. I like her, even though my husband would leave me in a second just to touch her face. She was the best thing about that horrible Museum movie with the things waking up and she was a pure badass in The Fighter. So. He could do worse.

The cover promises the "BEST DRESSES, TRENDS & OMGs OF 2011". Huh. It also declares that I can "EAT, DRINK, and DON'T GAIN A POUND THIS SEASON!" So the cover is basically yelling lies at me. 

This is not a good start, magazine that I don't remember ordering. Not good at all.

Things I Learned From the November 2011 Issue of InStyle

Author: Pinky McLadybits

Guess what I got in the mail today? The November issue of InStyle magazine. After writing about the magazine last month, I wasn't surprised to see it this month. Sweet.

Let me begin with a confession of my adoration for Gwen Stefani. I love her in No Doubt. I liked some of her solo stuff. I've grabbed her husband's ass (True story. It was tight!) and I find him very sexy. Her kids are adorable and I want her to be my best friend, help me dress, teach me how to wear makeup, and give me the secret to working heels at a playground. Gwen? Call me! I promise I'll leave Gavin's ass alone!

Most likely.