Monday, July 9, 2012

Olay Soothing Cucumber Body Wash: I Smell Like a Damn Garden

Metric Jenn

I love body washes. Seriously. It takes a regular shower and turns it into a tropical fucking vacation in my mind before I have to face the reality of a crap annoying day job filled with dealing with jerks and enough paperwork to take down an inebriated giraffe. 

The collection of body washes in my bathroom is staggering and, as I was rummaging around for my next scent, I came upon Olay's Soothing Cucumber infused with avocado oil. It seemed good; a moisturizing body wash with a fresh scent to send me off to work perky and ready to take on the world and not kill any co-workers.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. This body wash was nothing special. I used the whole bottle, just because I can't stand letting stuff go to waste. That may have been a mistake, because no matter what I did clients and co-workers kept sniffing near me asking if I'd just rolled in a pile of lettuce. Now, I'm all for smelling fresh, but I'd prefer not to be close-sniffed and thought of as a crazy hippie who pulls leaves off of trees to stuff down my shirt in the name of 'cleanliness'. I'm so annoyed with this product that I don't even know what that last sentence MEANS.

Bottom line? Olay's Cucumber Body Wash didn't moisturize any more than something from Bath and Body Works, smelled a hell of a lot worse, and for 4.99$ just isn't worth the price of admission.

Not only that, it made my imagination think of yard work while showering when I much rather daydream of a far-off beach with Alexander SkarsgÄrd as my cabana-boy.

This product gets 3/8 tentacles. The price is good. And some of you lovely readers may ACTUALLY like smelling like dirt and lettuce. *I raise a very skeptical eyebrow at you, though*

Bah - I'm done thinking of this product, its caused me too much aggravation already!

3/8 Tentacles: