Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Earth Therapeutics Aloe Moisture Gloves: Glove, No Love


Even though we barely had a winter here in Florida, my hands still got hella dry. It's not surprising. I remember being a teenager and begging sample tubes of Mary Kay's Extra Emollient Night Cream off of my mom so that I could quench my cracking and bleeding hands during the winter time. The more things change, the more they stay the same - only now I'm using Aquaphor Healing Ointment before bed at night.

More than fifteen years later, I'm still having the same problem, but this year the dryness and itchiness of my hands was compounded by the dermatitis caused by Kiss My Butt Face soap. So, being the brilliant person that I am, figured that I needed something to keep the ointment from rubbing off of my hands and onto my sheets and pillow. And my husband. And whatever cat happens to have hidden in the room, only to traipse back and forth across us in the wee hours like one of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Ahem.

My search started at the Dollar Tree. I bought a few pairs of the basic cotton moisture gloves. Target and other stores have the same type of gloves, but since I'm a cheapskate I bought three pairs at the dollar store for the price of one pair at Target. And you know what? They worked well. The ointment stayed on my hands at night and I woke up with hands that were less dry and itchy. But then, in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, my eye happened to fall upon a pair of the Earth Therapeutics Aloe Moisture Ultra Plush Moisturizing Gloves.

Their siren song called to me. I have a pair of aloe and shea-butter infused socks from Bath and Body Works and they are heaven. So I figured that aloe-infused gloves would be similarly divine. And, they weren't too outrageously expensive. What could be better than putting gloves with moisturizers soaked into the fibers on top of the Aquaphor Ointment on my hands at night?

Well, anything.

My first clue that these gloves might suck is when I put the fingers on and discovered that they were all the same length. For nearly $7, I expect that the fingers should at least be cut to normal proportions. The second clue that these gloves might cause me to curse in anger was when I fitted the rest of the glove over my palm to discover that they barely covered the heel of my hand. I have small hands, y'all, and a one-size-fits-most glove should, if anything, be a little too big on my hand. But, you know, whatever.

My hands had been really dry and the gloves smelled nice, so I figured I would give them a fair shot and wear them overnight. When I woke up, one glove had slipped off and was laying on the floor. And my hand was dry. Not cool. The other glove was still on, but it had worked itself halfway up the palm of my hand. I hated them already. The next night, and the following night I wore the gloves again, giving them another chance since the aloe in the fibers makes them slippery. Each night one of both of the gloves worked themselves off, even though I'm a fairly still sleeper. What's the point in having soft, good-smelling, aloe infused gloves if they don't stay on your hands?

There is no point. Honestly, I can't think of a single reason to recommend these gloves. They retail for between $7 and $8 dollars at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, the Earth Therapeutics website, and Amazon. But your better bet is to go to your local dollar store and buy six or seven pairs of basic cotton gloves for the price of these. This is the first product that I've revied that gets INKED. No tentacles for the Earth Therapeutics Aloe Moisture Ultra Plush Moisturizing Gloves.

Rating: 0/8

Check out our other moisturizing reviews! Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Lotion ,The Body Shop Candied Ginger Body Butter , Herbacin Kamille Hand & Nail Balm , and Palmer's Cocoa Butter.

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