Chocolate - It Does a Body Good: Palmer's Cocoa Butter Cream

Author: Rusty

This week winter bitch-slapped the mid to north East Coast and, amid my threats to sell a kidney to move back to Miami (if you have any info on that, by the way, I would not be disinterested in it), I noticed that winter air had invaded with a vengeance. The kind of air that makes your hair stand on end from static and charges all your doorknobs and also reduces your skin to a dry crackly, sore mess. I am extremely susceptible to this kind of air. And as it has its weapons, I have an arsenal of my own.

One of the weapons in my arsenal is Palmer’s Cocoa Butter cream. Long a standby for pregnant women interested in avoiding stretch marks, the cream is also fantastic for winter battered hands that are starting to crack around the edges. It also kind of smells like chocolate, but that’s nothing but good news as far as I’m concerned.


The cream is thick and takes time to work into your skin, but a little bit definitely goes a long way. To avoid having useless hands for the five minutes after I use it, I tend to put dabs on the back of my hands and then rub it in to get it on the palms. When I was working in a fabric store and my hands were actually starting to bleed from how dry they were, this stuff brought them back.

The moisturizing is also long lasting, which is important in winter. I’ve experienced Vaseline Intensive Care giving me five minutes of satisfaction only to watch my hands shrivel like a salted slug quickly afterwards. It works for the rest of your body too, and is great for keeping legs happy after moisture sapping activities like shaving. (For the sake of this article I’m maintaining the illusion that I shave my legs in the winter.) Available in Targets and drug stores across the nation, it’s also very reasonably priced.

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter cream gets 8 out of 8 tentacles because it will help keep winter battered skin happy and smelling faintly of delicious chocolatey goodness.

Rating: 8/8 tentacles