Author: Pinky McLadybits
We've already looked at the Top Ten Dumbest "Sexy" Costumes for this year. I thought it might be appropriate to look at the Top Ten Awesome Costumes for Ladies. After all, not all of us want to be whorish versions of male movie icons. Especially those that were a pedophile. (Someone pointed that out to me on Facebook, and come on! Was no one thinking about who the character really was? Gawl.) Some of us want to be comfortable, or sexy but in a non-idiotic way, or both. These are for us!
1. Wednesday Addams
If we got to see a grown-up Wednesday Addams, she'd probably dress like this. You can still show off your shape while keeping your boobs and ass covered. Plus, you can spout delightful lines like, "Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities." Or "Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic. Hurrah! Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one."
Here's another one that covers you up, but not in a prudish kind of way. And if you can get your best male friend or husband or boyfriend or even a lady to dress as Jack? ALL THE BETTER. After all, who else is clever enough to make a Sandy Claws outfit and help save the day? There's even a shorter version for those that want to show a little leg. I'll allow it!
Being a Deatheater has its perks, like a long skirt but a fitted top to show off that slender tummy and waist. You can probably scare the jebus out of some kids (and possibly adults, too) in this thing. Especially if you rig some kind of wand to shoot light out of it while you yell, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
4. Harley Quinn
The Joker's number one gal is definitely sexy and this costume is not for the faint of heart or body image. But the difference here is that this is what she is supposed to look like. This is an actual character in an actual comic universe and not a ripped minidress thrown together with the name of a well-known slasher pic killer and the word SEXY. Maybe next year I'll go as the delightful Miss Harley Quinn and force the mister to be my Puddin'.
5. Lily Munster
Lily Munster is hot and undead. She shows off her figure while keeping her assets on lock-down and she has a huge husband that happens to be a monster made of spare parts.
6. Hit Girl
In the movie Kick-Ass, Hit Girl is actually a little girl with an awesomely foul mouth that would make Kevin Smith blush. You get to wear a sweet purple wig and you get to be completely covered up. Score! And the best part is that you don't need Nic Cage and his overacting to complete this costume. People will know exactly who you are when you show up in this and say, "So, you wanna play?"
There are "sexy" versions of this costume as well. Ew. SHE'S A KID FOR THE LOVE OF...anyway. This costume is awesome because of:
- non-ironic side ponytail
- RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE
- if you have a unicorn laying around, you finally have a reason to ride it!
8. Maleficent
If you don't already know why Maleficent is a super-awesome costume, then there is nothing I can say to help you. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Zombies are great costumes because we must first know our enemy before we can defeat them. And the zombie invasion is coming.
Who knows, maybe you'll find a couple of sexy vampires that want to fight over your affections! Or maybe a werewolf with a great body. Or a weretiger. Maybe a shifter. Hmm. Maybe you should wear a silver chain with this costume.
You need to get it and then come with us to go trick or treating. IT WOULD BE AHMAHZING!
ReplyDeleteWell, I WAS gonna be Sookie, but now I'd have to make that red negligee thingy she wore in her dream with Eric and Bill, because EVERYDAMNBODY will be doing the uniform thing. le sigh.
ReplyDeleteLove that Wednesday one, but I think perhaps my heart belongs to Morticia.
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