Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hump Day List: 10 "Unconventionally Attractive" Men That Set Our Bloomers Ablaze

Pinky McLadybits

You may have noticed our little list last week when my brain broke. Did you like? I sure as hell liked. So did a lot of our friends out there in Facebooklandia. 

I thought to myself, "Pinky, instead of trying to sleep on this stupid mattress made of sadness and rocks, why not do another column of hot dudes? You could totally do dudes that are "unconventional-looking", which really means NOTHING, but can get it."

Then that other voice in my brain said, "YES. DO THAT." That voice also said to tell all of you "YOU'RE WELCOME." So, please do enjoy the following men, in no real order.

1. Adrien Brody

Some people might say that Adrien's nose is too big or compare him to Gonzo. To that I say, MORE FOR ME, ASSHOLE! Seriously, could you imagine Adrien Brody's face without a nose that size? No, you cannot. But someone else did it for you and it is odd.

I'll take him with all those abs, all that nose, and maybe a bit more chest hair. Or a lot more chest hair. Mmmm.

2. Peter Dinklage

Oh, Peter Dinklage! I've been aware of your hotness since watching The Station Agent years ago and your appearances in other movies only intensified that attraction. Then? Tyrion Lannister. Fucking hot.

Really, Peter's height is the only thing that would make someone call him unconventionally attractive. Look at this photo and tell me that the man doesn't look like Joshua Jackson and I'll call you a lying liar who lies. 

To top it all off? The man will school your ass in acting. He will take a solid ensemble cast drama and he will make you think that the rest of those punks just wandered in from a McDonald's to take their gigs. He is a master thespian, y'all, and he can get it.

3. Jason Segal

He doesn't have 6 pack abs. His face isn't super-angled or whatever. But we love Jason Segal. MetricJenn wants to hit that. I would hit that. LOOK AT HIM! Look at that face! He is adorable and funny and would be an awesome snuggler, I bet. In that dream I had with him in it, he was fun to shower with, so that's something too. meeee....

4. Chris Pratt

Again, someone only categorized as unconventional in his looks because he is an actor. He is insanely handsome! He is amazing as Andy Dwyer on Parks and Recreation. He just gets dumber and cuter and sweeter as time goes on. It isn't easy to play dumb. I would suspect.

Plus, he ad-libbed the line "Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems." Swoon!

5. Dominic Monaghan

I bawled like a baby when (SPOILER I GUESS BUT SERIOUSLY DOUBT) Charlie on Lost died. Both times I watched the series. Dominic brought such a sweetness to the character and his sly smiles and adorable grins did not hurt one bit. So his ears are a little big. Maybe he's not the tallest dude around. You have that wonky thing your eye does when you hiccup. I'M NOT HERE TO JUDGE. Much. Dominic Monaghan is adorably sexy. I am here to judge that.

6. Blake Sennett

"Oh, the guitarist from Rilo Kiley?" Well yes, but... "The dude from Boy Meets World?" yes, but SALUTE YOUR SHORTS. That is where I first developed my crush on Blake Sennett. I used to sit by my VCR and record Salute Your Shorts, stopping if the episode was pre-Pinsky and clapping with glee if it was an episode with Blake.

 I don't know what it was about him. But he's still got it PLUS the whole guitarist thing going for him. Mmmm, yummy.

I'll even forgive the Winona-boning.

7. David Tennant

Oh, Ten! I adore your voice (both your real and Whovian accents), your ability to fill out that pinstripe suit and pair of Chucks, and the way a lift of your eyebrow can send me swooning. And I haven't even seen the Fright Night remake yet! Thin? Yes. Spectacularly sexy? YES.

8. Gary Oldman

He isn't young. He wears glasses most places now. Sometimes he looks so different from role to role that you might not be sure why you have a tingly area downstairs. Gary Oldman has been making the ladies swoon for decades, kids, and with good reason.

He's an acting chameleon (clearly a theme in our lust) who can charm, seduce, or terrify you with one look. He is The Sex.

9. Naveen Andrews

Naveen and his luscious man locks induced many a delightful shudder during the course of Lost. His body is muscular without being intimidating. His eyes are warm, emotional, and easy to stare into. I would assume.

Alas, he likes his ladies older, or did. I don't know what the man with the gorgeous skin is up to now or who he is boning. But I know we wish it was one of us. SIGH.

10. Wyatt Cenac

I don't have cable, so this is the first I've seen of Wyatt Cenac. I think. Anyway, RAWR! I love that smile! Those eyes. That facial hair. Mmmmm. Another funny and slender man. Well, slender might not be the best word, but I'm drooling a bit too much to think properly.


  1. You're like Jane from Happy Endings!

    "Once you believe, good things start happening on their own. Like how Adrian Brody became handsome. Or like how Adrian Brody became handsome. I am weirdly attracted to him."

  2. Does anyone else suspect that Jason Segal is actually a dirty talker?