Halloween Decorations: These Are Scary For A Different Reason

Pinky McLadybits

Look how scared I am, you guys!

I like decorating my house for Halloween. If I had my way, I would have zombies climbing out of the flower beds, ghost hanging from the trees, vampires peering around tree trunks, orange and purple lights on the house, and psychotic killers hiding around the corner of the house.

Alas, I am married to a guy that hates decorations for all holidays. It's crazy. It makes me crazy. It probably makes him more crazy since I disregard him. He should be thankful that I only want the Halloween decorations that I do. He should realize that things could be much, much worse. I could have my heart set on some of these idiotic decorations.

Airblown Reaper on 3-Wheeler

This is not scary. This is stupid. Every one knows that the Reaper drives a Harley and his scythe rides bitch. Duh.

Fog-Belching Zombie

Did the zombie eat some dry ice? Are these the gases that accumulate after one's death? Does the zombie just stay there for atmosphere while his buddies attempt to eat your brains?

Pizza Face Latex Prop

Uh. I asked for my pizza without Soylent Green.

Latex Vulture

If anything, this vulture is your best friend in a horror situation. He's gonna try to eat the zombies and the dead that haven't yet turned. That should slow the zombies down, being without eyeballs and various chunks of their bodies. Come on, vulture buddy. Let's get you fed.

Halloween Camper

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DEAR GOD! IT'S AN ABOMINATION! Can you imagine how much gas costs for this thing?

Poison Bottle Standee

It's clearly labeled. It stands over 3 feet tall. How is this scary? Oh. It's $19.99. GAH!

Hanging Dead Man Head Prop

Headpool?