Pinky McLadybits
There are just some things that aren't a good idea for gifts on Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter how much thought went into it, it's just bad juju for your scoring prospects. I've snagged what I deem to be shitty Valentine's Day Gifts. Feel free to argue or agree in the comments.
My chest is not a landing strip and planes don't need to be able to see it while in flight. As for edible underwear, that just seems sticky, uncomfortable, and gross. In a bad way.
A Tattoo Of His/Her Name
Have you learned nothing from Pam and Tommy? Angelina and Billy Bob? Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards? Johnny and Winona? Everyone that tattoos their significant other's name on themselves BREAKS UP. You might as well just dump the person and save yourselves time and ink.
A Puppy/Kitten/Bunny/Swan/Monkey/Pet of Any Kind
Buying pets as a gift is a really terrible idea if you haven't talked about it with the recipient. You just gave someone a pooping, peeing, mewling, ball of destruction eating machine that comes with a multi-year commitment. That doesn't say love so much as DERP.
No comment.
You're saying that you need bedroom help AND that you want him/her to cook to get you in the mood. NO. Wrong.
YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
That last one made me laugh the ugly laugh.
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