Thursday, June 21, 2012

Simply Terrible: Simple Smoothing Facial Scrub


I've been looking for a face scrub since I got rid of my apricot scrub and I stumbled across the entire Simple line on sale. For five bucks, I took a chance on Simple Smoothing Facial Scrub.

I've made a huge mistake. Not only does it smell like melted plastic ass, the scrubby bit are huge and pointy, which is the opposite of what I was expecting. Plus, did I mention that it smells? Because ohmygawd it smells so bad. Luckily, the smell dissipates immediately, but I had to hold my breath the entire time I was rubbing it on my face to keep from gagging.

After I got out of the shower, I let my skin dry without putting on my normal moisturizer to see if it truly was going to not irritate my sensitive skin. No such luck. My skin achieved that well known state of super tight and kind of burny. I took a gander at the ingredients and found mineral oil, which I know irritates my skin, and just straight up polyethylene, which is LITERALLY plastic. So that explains the nasty melted plastic smell. Also listed is methylparaben, so I know this stuff isn't paraben-free, which is something I normally check for. You would think that a company that claims to be "sensitive skin experts" would be able to make a face scrub that did not contain known irritants. You would also be wrong.

Adding to my irritation (get it), my skin is still dull and flaky. So this smelly goop doesn't even do the minimum of what it's required to do.

Overall, this product gets totally INKED. I don't even want to use it on my legs before I shave them because it smells so bad.

Rating: 0/8 tentacles

More products that made us exclaim, "Oh, honey, NO."? Okay! A dry shampoo, some nail art, and some deodorant


  1. Melted plastic ass damn near killed me.

  2. Oh dear. I would recommend the Pevonia Gentle Exfoliating Cleanser (though it's pricey) or Alba Botanica's Pineapple Enzyme scub, if you're looking for something more gentle. I love Alba Botanica's Sea Algae Enzyme Scrub I'm currently using, but it might not be the best for sensitive skin.

  3. Maybe it's made from my childhood Barbie's melted asses?!