Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Make Me Laugh, Make Me Moan: Sexy Comedians

I've always been attracted to men who make me laugh. It meant they weren't boring, they would get my jokes, and we wouldn't need to be serious all of the time. And muscles. I like muscles.

The two meet in Donald Glover. Have you seen Mystery Team? You must! Glover is hilarious in it and he did the music for the movie. Have you seen Community? I certainly hope you have! What about his stand-up act? SO FUNNY. Maybe you saw him on 30 Rock? Childish Gambino? He is talented, sexy, and ohhhh, my, those muscles. He could make me laugh and then beat the shit out of someone for me. Then? WE SEX! Ahhh. - Pinky

Chris Rock

A funny man? That I want to bone? The list for me a short one, my friends. Chris Motherfucking Rock. LOOK AT HIS FINGERS. Just think of the possibilities! (I took a solid 15 minutes fap-break just after typing those last 2 sentences.) The man is funny. He is practical. He cuts to the bone. And when he's on stage doing his act, his eyes are just intense. Even in interviews, he gives me the impression of a quick-witted guy who is true to himself and loves what he does. And what he does is make people laugh. - MetricJenn

Wanda Sykes

While I’m not normally a lady appreciator, the constraints of this list have given me reason to indulge in some sapphic speculation. Wanda Sykes is beautiful, witty, and smart as hell in addition to being a lesbian so if push came to shove, I know that she’d know what she was doing down there. At the very least, she’d be a fantastic date as making me laugh is the best way to alleviate my shy tendencies and I’m always attracted to charisma, which Ms. Sykes has in abundance. - Rusty

Stephen Merchant

I have a crush on a different comedian every week so narrowing this down to one was really tough. However, the fact that they are both on committed relationships (and that my over-developed sense of guilt makes me unable to properly crush on the taken...I know, believe me I know) means that I had to skip over Chris Rock (sigh) and Eugene Mirman (double sigh).

However, this has left room for the charming and hilarious Stephen Merchant. He's adorable, whip-smart, and his recent special "Hello Ladies" is amazing. Also, to misquote The Office (you know, for no reason) it's rare that you find someone that is romantic and thrifty. Seriously, maybe this is only cool to me, but finally someone that wouldn't find it weird how often I smuggle food into events. Apparentely, he does that at awards ceremonies...finally, a man who GETS me! - Park

Tim Minchin

He's a guylinered ginger who plays piano, sings AND he's funny...what
more could we want? What's that, a hot Australian accent, you say?
Ch to the eck. Tim Minchin studied music as a child, moved on to
theater acting and calls his wildly imaginative act a funny cabaret,
but in between bouts of laughter, you'll find yourself staring and
your mind drifting off to inappropriate places. But don't forget to
listen as he takes on religion and evolution an...he stares at you
with those lovely eyes. - Cindy

Joel McHale

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, Joel McHale is not my type. I go for men with dark hair, dark eyes, and strong dark eyebrows. So, basically the exact opposite of Joel McHale. But? The humor is what does is for me. The devil-may-care grin that he flashes after nailing the delivery of a line? The deadpan way he says, "You're a terrible person." Totally sells me on a man I would normally never look twice at. Not only am I sold, but I will climb over your grandmother to get him. - Dixie

Louis C.K.

Ok, he doesn't necessarily look like the sexiest comedian. It' wouldn't be a stretch to call him a bit schlubby. But oh, believe me, Louis CK is quite sexy. He's an intelligent, eloquent, fiercely funny writer/comedian who isn't afraid to speak his mind, whether he's pointing out the stupidity of others or even tearing himself down a bit. He's also a devoted father, which is sweet. And he's a redhead, which I love. Most of all, though, I bet he'd be an amazing dirty talker with that filthy mouth of his. - MelBivDevoe

Craig Ferguson

I'm the first to admit that I ususally like weird looking dudes. For me, men that are conventionally good looking usually don't have a whole lot that I'm interested in, personality-wise. I'm more drawn to men with a very strong sense of self and the MUST be able to bring the funny. Add in that I'm a sucker for accents, and Craig Ferguson is a knockout contender for my affections. He's goofy and irreverant while maintaining deep passion for the things he cares about, as his tattoos can attest. His openess and honesty about his personal struggles show that he's self-reflective and a good communicator. Plus, he's got the rugged scruffiness that I'll always look twice at. - Napoleanita


  1. Eddie Izzard: funny, smart, a jaw that goes on forever. Even in eye shadow and high heels the man makes me swoon.

  2. Better move quickly Pinky, because as soon as Prop 8 officially goes down I'm headed to CA to take my shot.

    If they hold it up, I'm going to start looking for Maria Bamford I guess...or Gillian Jacobs.

  3. Daniel Tosh is mine. And Craig Ferguson alllll day.