Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Hump Day List: Some Men That We Would Do Just Really Filthy Things To

Pinky and The Ladies of Hot Ink

Perhaps you had gleaned this little factoid from my bio on the contributor page, but I really like John Krasinski. A LOT. I have a difficult time watching episodes of The Office where people are mean to Jim, because Krasinski's sad face just breaks my insane little heart.

I have had a crush on Krasinski ever since I watched my first episode of The Office, which happened to be "Christmas Party". I immediately set about watching more episodes and bought all of the seasons until recently.

I don't want to talk about it. Ahem.

I would likely follow that man wherever he wanted me to go. You know, in a purely Freebie List, hypothetical, actually-I'm-totally-serious way. Is it his sense of humor? Yes. That body? Holy Godtopussy, YES. He is sexy. So sexy to me. I would do just wonderful, terrible things with that man. He is my number one (and sometimes number five) on my Freebie List. Always.

But what about some of the other Ladies here? Who really melts their panties?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

There are people who talk about things in their life that are “their rock.” It’s a term that refers to someone or something that has been there for them through good times and bad, something that they can hold onto in this turbulent sea we call life. My rock is… The Rock. The gentleman otherwise known as Dwayne Johnson. It seems that no matter how my taste in men shifts as I age, or who my new crush is, the one thing I can always count on is that given the means and opportunity I would climb that man like a tree. It’s more about his saucy smile and his remarkably charismatic eyebrow than it is his Greek-God like physique but, you know, it’s that too. I most certainly do smell what The Rock is cooking, and it smells sexy. - Rusty

Ryan Gosling

Is it even necessary to describe what makes Ryan Gosling sexy? He's an incredible actor, having starred in some of the best movies of the last year, from comedy (Crazy, Stupid, Love) to drama (Ides of March) to action/adventure (Drive). He sings and plays multiple instruments including piano and guitar in a rock group called Dead Man's Bones. He even has multiple Tumblrs devoted to his hotness that seem to pop up every week.

But the sexiest thing about him, besides his many talents, and his a-MAZ-ing abs, would have to be his confidence. This is a man who knows who he is and what he wants and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. And there's nothing sexier than a confident man. - MelBivDevoe

Alexander Skarsgård

I love a man with a sense of humor that is completely unexpected, and a willingness to look like a tool (or at least more of a tool than I). Alexander Skarsgård gave me the greatest present of all this Christmas with this one photo. It gave him a lifetime pass to my vagina - and I've kegelled enough that Señorita Clamps won't let him go.
His sense of humor and complete mockery of pretty much everything has been evidenced in his choice of mainstream acting choices: True Blood is clearly not his Citizen Kane and simply an opportunity to behave like a badass and his brief stint in Zoolander as one of the dumb model roommates sticks in my mind. It is also the first time I noticed how the Swedish accent had a deep and immediate effect on my lady nether regions. Even when drunk off his face, he's hilarious, effeminately affectionate, and generally someone I'd love to drink with and then bone. Ring mig!    -Metric Jenn

Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm is everything. He's supernaturally handsome, a great dramatic actor and one hell of a funny dude. He oozes charm and awesomeness. Even talk-show hosts can't help but gush about how goddamn handsome he is. In the words of Liz Lemon: "He looks like a cartoon pilot!" Amen, Liz. - Figgy

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