Like Spreading A Melted Spork On Your Face: Philosophy's Hope in a Jar

Author: Figgy

One of the things I love about Nordstrom's is their happy willingness to give out free samples at their beauty counters. Did you know you can ask for a small sample of your favorite perfume, and they'll happily give you one? Yes! It's like a treasure trove for cheap suckers like myself. Just make sure you don't go in there too often or the salesladies will look at you weird. Ahem.

On one of my strolls through their beauty department I found a stack of little samples of Philosophy's Hope in a Jar moisturizing lotion, and I picked up a couple. It's the #2 best rated moisturizer on Sephora and I'd been wanting to check it out for a while. So I was excited.


And then I smelled it. Good lord. Have you ever, say, been bored when the power went out and your mom lit some candles and you decided to, just for the hell of it, try to melt a plastic fork over the candle flame? And then your mom yelled at you because you almost caught the tablecloth on fire and the whole house smelled like burning plastic ? Yes? Well, obviously you have, so you have an idea of what Hope in a Jar smells like.

Burnt plastic. It is pungent. I decided to try it on my face anyway, hoping the smell would go away eventually. It didn't. It actually made my eyes water from how strong it was, but I was determined to at least leave it on overnight to see what the effects would be like. I even hated putting it on, both because my brain couldn't separate the smell from thoughts of "Holy shit I'm spreading plastic on my face" and because it just felt weirdly gloopy and heavy.

I woke up the next morning with my face like an oil-slick. And still smelling like plastic. I washed it off and decided never to go near the stuff again.

The reviews on Sephora had all fallen on one of two sides: it was either "It stinks and it's horrible" or "I loved it and it's done wonders for my skin". Guess which one I fell into?

It's a shame, because the full sized product is affordable and contains a lot of lotion, but I'm never even trying it again. The smell was horribly off-putting and it made my already oily skin feel even worse.

So I'm giving it 0/8 tentacles, for the horrible smell and the greasiness of it. I'm awfully glad I didn't buy it.

Rating: 0/8 tentacles