Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Pro-Curl Tweezerman Eye Lash Curler: Serious Business

Metric Jenn

It was a warm summer day back in the year 2000 when I was over at an old friend's apartment, just drinking the last bit of instant coffee and lounging about. We were bored...the kind of bored that only broke university students can be. No money for anything, not even enough to go out to the cheap movie theatres. We didn't even have enough money to put gas in the car. Basically, we were beyond white trash poor. Even the tv was disconnected. This obviously leads to desperation: we decided to get drunk on the last bit of boxed wine and the shitty Coors Lite beers (left over from the asshole that brought them to the last party) and do each other's makeup.

The result of that night still resounds in my life today.

Prior to that, I have to shamefully admit that I never really knew what those wacky contraptions were used for. I knew that they were "eyelash curlers", but I was very much ostrich-ing in regards to their function. I was positive that they were going to cause me pain. Heather told me to close my eyes and also to shut the hell up. Normally when someone says that to me, sexy things happen. This time was no different. I opened my eyes and WHAP-BAMM. My eyelashes were fucking gorgeous. FULL AND GORGEOUS.

From that night on, I swore that I would never be without an eyelash curler. And with that, my next paycheque was divided between booze, saving for the next semestre, and buying an eyelash curler.

I bought the Pro-Curl Tweezerman eyelash curler. It's been with me for 12 years, and I have regretted the purchase Every. Single. Day. I cannot tell you how many times a tiny piece of skin has gotten caught in the hinges, or I've actually squeezed my freaking eyelid in the curler itself. This monstrosity has ruined my life. I cannot, in good conscience, ever recommend this 20$ piece of shit. 

Please, for the love of everything unholy in this universe, avoid Tweezerman at all costs! TweezerWOMAN would never have come up with this virtual death trap!

This product gets ZERO tentacles. And feel free to suggest other curlers in the comments, because I am in desperate need, people!

Rating: 0/8 tentacles. For shame, TweezerMAN.


  1. 12 year? Wow. Mine usually stick around for a couple years until the rubbery pads wear out and I end up just buying a whole new one instead of replacement pads.

    That said, Revlon eyelash curlers have never done me wrong. Highly recommended.

  2. The Revlon curlers are indeed great. I've been using the Revlon Extra Curl (the black and red one) for a couple years now and I haven't even had to replace the pad. Every couple months I just take it out to wash it and it's good as new.

  3. I love Tweezerman tweezers so I'm sorry to hear that their curler sucks. I LOVE the E.L.F. Lash curler and it's only a couple of bucks. http://hotinkreviews.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-what-big-eyes-you-have-elf.html