Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Diva Cup: They Don't Call Me McLadybits For Nothin'

Pinky McLadybits

WARNING: Ladies have monthly menstruation. That is life. If you are uncomfortable with the bodily functions of women then you probably don't want to read this review. Puss. Also, I am going to totally talk about insertion of the product.

After the debacle of  Always Tampax Radiant (well, it was a debacle in my pants...), I finished out my last box of o.b. tampons. It was then that I decided to give up tampons and pads for good, opting instead for a less expensive, more environmentally-friendly, and healthier method of collecting and disposing of my monthly uterine shedding.

I decided to purchase The Diva Cup.
Shopping around for the best price led me to where the price began higher but was slowly whittled down with first time customer free shipping and $5 off. It also gave me the Diva Wash, which can be used on the cup or as a face and body wash, for free. If you are in the US and haven't shopped with before, I would recommend them for your Diva Cup purchase. (And no, I wasn't compensated for that mention.)

When I saw the faint pink on the toilet paper today, I decided that it was time to give the Diva Cup a test run before shit got real. Of course, when I decided to open the package, everyone in my house decided to barge into the bathroom. My husband, the new puppy, and my daughter. Seriously, GET THE FUCK OUT AND KNOCK NEXT TIME. EXCEPT FOR YOU, PUPPY. YOU CAN STAY. YOU'RE ADORABLE.

I removed the rubbery cup from the box, set aside the drawstring bag it came with, and marveled again at the inclusion of a lapel pin proclaiming DIVA CUP! I am so not wearing that around. Unless someone dares me or I think it will be funny. I glanced at the directions, which I had read previously and which I had been apprised of from a friend that swears by the Diva Cup. Basically, you fold the soft, medical grade silicon cup in half after kind of flattening it together. 

Then? Well, then you insert it as you would a tampon, following the tilt of your uterus, kittens! Then it pops open inside of you, creating a vacuum seal. Seriously, it makes a suction sound when removed, so you know it is in there tight, catching all of your uterine sloughings. It was more comfortable and less noticeable than a tampon once I got used to the shape. 

"How do you remove it?" is something that you might ask if I were loudly discussing this with you in a crowded place because maybe we'd been drinking and lost control of the volume of our voices. Good question! There is a stem on the bottom of the cup, which you can see in the photo. You grab the stem and carefully pull, ideally while still sitting on or hovering just above the toilet. That way any spills will go into the toilet and not onto the rug, your pants, or onto the head of the adorable puppy you let stay in the bathroom with you. You can cut off the stem if it irritates you, but I found it easier to just push it in further. 

There are measurement lines on the inside of the cup so you can track how much blood you are losing, if that's something you are into or perhaps have been ordered to do by your doctor. The cup can be rinsed with water if you are in a hurry, but mild soap or the Diva Wash should be used before re-inserting. Many people also suggest boiling the Diva Cup after your period is finished. 

I believe I also said that the Diva Cup is better for you than tampons, yes? I don't know about you, but Toxic Shock Syndrome scares me. Accidentally leaving a tampon all up in me, forgotten, slowly decomposing and rotting, emitting a smell and giving me terrible cramps is also something I fear. Don't laugh, I know more than a few people that has actually happened to and I have no wish to have it happen to me. The Diva Cup can be left in for up to 12 hours. It is made from surgical grade silicon, is free of: latex, BPA, plastic, PVC, acrylic, acrylate, phthalate, elastomer, polyethylene, dyes, and coloring. It sounds better to me then shoving bleached cotton in my hoo-ha, I can tell you that much.

How does it perform? Well, the first day I had some leakage, which was likely due to improper fit and not flow. I checked the FAQ on Diva Cup's site and made the proper changes. Still leaked. A lot. Made more changes. Super leaky. Dixie told me there was a learning curve, but DAMN! I had to wear an overnight pad to catch the leaks. After three days of this, I went back to my o.b. tampons. I fully plan to try the Diva Cup again next cycle, but it may just not work with my Lady Parts. And that's alright. Alas, it makes this experiment a failure thus far.

Rating: 3/8 tentacles


  1. I had never even heard of this. I'm a pad user myself - I've never found tampons comfortable enough to wear that often (though obviously exceptions are made when necessary). I don't think this would be my bag. But it's certainly interesting to read about another option! Thanks for taking one for the Lady Team!

  2. I really like the Diva Cup. I still have the occasional leakage, but that's why I always wear pantyliners when I use it. Overall, I usually feel less gross when I use it than with tampons and especially pads.

  3. Try Softcup! They are awesome (once you figure out how to use them) and on their website you can purchase cups that will last your entire cycle. In the search for ladyparts accessories, this is my fave. You still have to wear a pantyliner on your uber heavy days, but otherwise, no mess on the dress.