Monday, February 13, 2012

Just Bitten - In the Ass: Revlon Lip Stain

Metric Jenn

Whilst wandering aboot (ahem...sorry AB-AH-OUT) Shopper's Drug Mart, I stumbled upon the Revlon display. I had my eyes peeled for new lip-colours, stains, sticks, and glosses because I was running dangerously low on lip-stuffs at only 26 products. The Just Bitten campaign caught my eyes, and I was completely intrigued by the idea of a marker used on my lips.

Seriously you guys, in the store I examined the product is a bloody MARKER for your lips. And on the other end it's a clear, 1 inch of balm stick. There were 10 colours to choose from, and I merrily selected "Mystical". How absolutely, all-encompassingly intriguing! 

Well, fuck me sideways with a chainsaw, did I ever get Just Bitten. In the wallet. And in my sweet, sweet ass. Revlon's Just Bitten is possibly the worst thing for over 10$ I've ever had the misfortune of putting on my lips (so many jokes...but me too angry; JENN SMASH).

Shall I elaborate? I think I shall. I got home and decided to give this thing a shot right away, as I wanted to wear it to work in the morning, but didn't want to leave things to chance. It would be just my luck to show up to work looking like Lindsay Lohan's makeup artist got ahold of me. So I washed my face and scrubbed my lips, wanting to have all the dead skin rubbed off and a fresh, smooth surface to work Revlon's magic on.

I pat-dried my lips with a towel and got to work. I put the marker ink on my lips. It was marker. On my lips. I put the cap back on and removed the cap from the gloss part. It went on hard. As in: I had to apply it  around 15 times to even feel like there was a layer of gloss on my lips. The result looked fairly fetching, and I noted the time. 8:15pm. 

Guess how long it lasted? With me consciously not eating or drinking anything, nor licking my lips this product lasted for 45 fucking minutes. I decided to re-apply, but the marker part had stopped working. Because using markers on anything but paper is sketchy (heh heh, I'm punny) at best. KINDERGARTEN STUDENTS KNOW THIS, REVLON. WHY DON'T YOU? Idiots. Whoever designed this gimmick should have penises drawn in permanent marker on their face.

This Revlon Just Bitten crap was clearly meant to capitalize on the vampire craze (you can tell by the font of "Just Bitten" also...BITTEN), no thought or ingenuity was put into it, and they charge a retarded price for something that is utter garbage. Good job, jackasses. 

Revlon's Just Bitten gets inked. It has no redeemable features at all. I hope someone from Revlon reads this review and fires that entire team.

0/8 Tentacles. Pricks.


  1. Oh My God. I've been trying to review this product for months, and just, couldn't come up with anything. I didn't hate it as much as you. And I think I got the color to last for maybe 2 hours once. The last time I tried it, I definitely got an hour out of it (no eating or drinking.)

    You must have gotten a bad one, because the "marker" on mine is still fine and the balm part wasn't hard on mine either--it glided on pretty smoothly. Of course, it didn't take long for me to snap the balm clean off (since it doesn't retract into the tube) when at a party and trying to put the cap back on with one hand. I had to smash it back on.

    But yeah, since I didn't have a clear sense of how it might work for someone without a lip balm addiction, I didn't know how to review it. I was wondering if it might work better during the summer, when my lips were less prone to being chapped. But, from your review, I'm guessing my experience wasn't that different from normal.

  2. I don't think I got a bad one at all - it looked just like all the others,

    I just think that this entire idea was a gimmick about making money and not about providing a good product to the consumer. Who are exclusively women.

    It's stuff like this that drives me absolutely around the bend into HULK SMASH territory.


  3. I hope you return it and get your money back!

  4. Have to agree. I was a big fan of their stains they put out a few years ago, so got 2 of these. I want to like them, because of the old stains but no, just no. My balm is fine, but I've broken one off so it lives in the lid. The marker dries out my lips something chronic even with the balm, you really have to layer it to get any colour and you're right, it doesn't last.

    I should biff mine, I really should.

  5. I'm much too lazy to return to the store, and so it was tossed in the bin;

    Nirvanah, my lips got crazy dried out after using this but I didn't make the connection!

  6. Are you guys kidding? Or did you get a very stale/old shipment into your Shoppers?! I have 2 of the Just Bitten "markers" (Vintage and Passion) and they're amazing! (They last at least 3 hours for me, and I drink copious amounts of coffee in the morning.) I've had one of them since the end of summer and it still works. So I'm confused as to why yours stopped working right away. It's right on par with my sister's Stila lip stain thing and she paid 30 bucks for maybe try again?

  7. I can believe you all are downing this product so bad. I found that I love it.It gave me a natural lip color unlike regular lipstick that after a few minutes the color changes and turns to unnatural color and if you wanted the color to last a little longer you only had to omit the gloss part of the lip stain. by the way regular lipstick with all the gloss just look fake to me and greasy.

  8. 45 minutes my ass! I got the "gothic" red color, and it lasted all day, and all damn night too. That stuff is freakin amazing. Just store the stain with the marker side down and it lasts. If it don't go on for you after "15 applications" i am sorry you feel the need to leave the house looking like bobo the clown.