Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Aromas Artesanales De Antigua Luxury Hand Cream: Massage Me Like One of Your Guatemalan Girls

Metric Jenn

(This review may be a bit on the crazy side, as I am currently suffering back pain and the Doc gave me some sweet, sweet painkilling relief.)

I've been sitting on this product for about 3 months now. I bought it in Santa Barbara from this froo-froo hippie shop (don't ask me what it was called; I barely remember my own name). I was looking for more lotions to add to my hoarder-like collection at home. I smelled each lotion and made my choice based on how Lindsay Lohan-ish I felt. You see, I'd just visited the court house in which she was sentenced and it was like my Mecca.

So! Guatemala is the 'inspiration' for this line of products. The website explains that "The rich volcanic soil of the valley, along with the warm climate in the region, offers the ideal condition for the growth of numerous fruits, plants and flowers, many of which have been the inspiration for the fragrances used in the Aromas Artesanales de Antigua range."

I can't remember where I was going with that paragraph...I'm sure it was something lovely about Guatemalan culture. But this strays from the product itself. If some place is the 'inspiration' for a product, it doesn't mean that anything was actually grown there, produced there, or made there. To that end; the whole Guatemalan theme is a marketing ploy. Which, to what may be your surprise, I don't hold against them!

The product itself, doesn't seem to differ from 99% of all the other lotions out there. The main ingredients being water, shea butter, cetearyl alcohol, and glycerin. I kept going back to the metallic tube thinking there would be grapefruit and tangerine extract listed, but...after the 6th check...nuthin'. This hippie product is a LIE. *This* is what I hold against them.

Now you are probably wondering how the lotion actually worked. It was greasy. It took forever to absorb into my skin. The smell still enchants me. This lotion has provided me with a love-hate review! Or it could be the drugs talking...No...nope - it's love-hate. The product is bad, but the smell! Ohhhh, the smell! And it was only $10.95. I've paid a lot more for a lot less in my time...

Alas, what rating can I give a product that only has one redeeming quality?

Rating: 4/8 Tentacles

I sorely wish that I could be kinder, but even this rating seems a tad high.

1 comment:

  1. I do not think you were using the same hand cream as I use. The one thing I like best about this product, other than the aromas, is that it is not greasy and absorbs quickly. Also, the price you paid was way to much compared to other retailers. I think you should try it again when you are in your right mind.