Thursday, December 6, 2012

Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave: Demulcent!


My last foray into shave cream was not a huge success, but when I saw the tube of Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave sitting on the shelf in my local health food store, all reservations flew out of my brain. I thought, "Ooohh! Shiny!" So I grabbed the Coconut Lime scent and excitedly gave my card to the cashier.

Before using the shave cream the first time, I flipped over the bottle to read the instructions, because I read the back of everything I buy. Every. Thing. It's a good thing I did since the instructions on how to get the best result are pretty specific. Spread a thin layer over the area to be shaved, the thinner the better. The last shave cream I used required exactly the opposite - I couldn't get a thick enough layer on to avoid irritation - so I was skeptical. After a few passes with the razor, my skepticism dissolved. I got a great shave with zero irritation. In fact, I actually put the cream on too thick on my first leg and had to rinse my razor every two passes, so I put less on my other leg and got an even better result.

The final test for the shave cream to pass was whether or not it lived up to its claim to be Very Emollient. was pretty good. My legs weren't super moisturized but they weren't dry and scaly. A little bit of lotion fixed them right up. My skin tends to be dry, so nothing short of lotion is going to do the trick anyway. Also, the descriptor Very Emollient is stupid. Every time I look at the tube, I'm reminded of John Keating in Dead Poets Society - "So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays." Stop being lazy, Alba Botanica. Surely there is a better way to describe the emollient powers of your shave cream.

When I run out of the Alba Botanica Natural Very Emollient Cream Shave, I'll definitely get it again. You can find it for around between $3 and $4 at the Alba Botanica site,VitaCost, or at your local well-stocked health food store. It's a reasonable price to pay for a product that lasts forever since you have to use so little of it to get the best shave.  7/8 tentacles, docking one for the slight lack of moisturizing power and the stupidity of "Very."

Rating: 7/8 tentacles

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