Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Pinky's Halloween Playlist: No Tubular Bells

Pinky McLadybits

I don't know about you, but I like to have Halloween tunes blaring while I hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. I don't mean those bullshit CDs you can buy at the mysterious Halloween Superstores that appear a few days before October and then disappear in a puff of smoke and shitty clearance deals. I don't mean those screaming, creaking door, and shitty Tubular Bells-ripoffs on ambiance Cds either. I mean songs that rock your ass  or make you want to dance and are still Halloween-related, whether in tone or lyrics. 

So, without further ado, I give you Pinky's Halloween Playlist (No Seriously, These Are On My iPod And I Rocked Them Last Year And Some Will Be Rocked This Year).

I usually hit shuffle, but I'll number these for reasons.

1. The Addams Family TV Theme

If this song doesn't make you want to sing and snap your fingers while handing out diabeetus to young children, then I don't know what your soul is made of. If you even have a soul, you freak.

2. (Don't Fear) The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult

This song is a classic for a reason. It's been used as a punchline on SNL (MORE COWBELL!). It's been used to subtly point you in the direction of a teenaged serial killer that wears a Scream mask and murders their friends. It's also a creepy-ass song to listen to. I don't even like listening to it in the car because I feel like I might be tempting fate or something. But it is perfect for Halloween purposes. "40,000 men and women every day (Like Romeo and Juliet) 40,000 men and women every day (Redefine happiness)Another 40,000 coming every day (We can be like they are)" CREEPY!

3. For Whom The Bell Tolls by Metallica

This song was slammed back into my consciousness by Zombieland. I was reminded of just how hard early Metallica rocked and just how perfect that "For Whom The Bell Tolls" is for Halloween and introducing impressionable young Bieber fans to something that doesn't suck. Enjoy your candy and your metal education, kids!

4. Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.

If you don't know this song, I can't help you. No one can help you. My eight-year-old knows and loves this song. Get it. Listen to it. Fill the void that surely lives inside your cold, dead, unsatisfied heart.

5. Living Dead Girl,  Dragula, Never Gonna Stop, The Lords of Salem, and more by Rob Zombie

Rob Zombie can't make a movie worth a shit, but he is the king of whatever the hell he calls the music he makes. Hellbilly rock n' necrophilia? I don't know. You can't go wrong on a Halloween playlist if you have lots of Zombie, both Rob and White.

6. The Man Comes Around by Johnny Cash

The Man In Black talking and singing about the Second Coming of Jesus. "And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts...And I looked and behold, a pale horse And his name that sat on him was Death And Hell followed with him"

If you want to be creeped out, sit in the dark and listen to Cash as he tells us about the virgins trimming their wicks. When the Man comes around.

7. This Is Halloween (Either the Original or the Marilyn Manson version is acceptable)

I don't feel the need to explain this art to you, Warren.

8. Thriller by Michael Jackson

When you bust out the moves in the graveyard portion of the video for the neighborhood kids? They won't know whether to be awed or start running before you invite them in for a sleepover.

9. Bloody Mary (Nerve Endings) by Silversun Pickups

I may (definitely) be obsessed with this song. At first listen you think that you're hearing some very well arranged and written song about the childhood game of Bloody Mary. Upon further listening and really listening to all of the lyrics, something much more devastating and beautiful emerges. This song is for anytime, but will fit in well with Halloween playlists.

10. Howlin' For You by The Black Keys

Maybe it isn't about werewolves. Maybe there isn't anything spooky about it. You cannot deny that howling is never more condoned then when it is done at Halloween. So take advantage and play this song loudly and often.

11. Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People

Even if you've listened to this song and you know what it is referring to, it is still catchy and easy to ignore. Once you saw Tate on American Horror Story, stalking down his high school's hallway with this song blaring? It's a bit terrifying to hear, no?

So, that's what I've got so far, kids. Anything you would add to the perfect Halloween Playlist?

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