Thursday, July 19, 2012

Star Magazine: Even A Stopped Clock Is Right Twice A Day

Pinky McLadybits

I was pleased when my sister-in-law brought a whole stack of Star Magazines to my house. I was even more pleased when she left them here. I know, I know. Star is bad. Lies, pap photos, tons of bullshit. But, sometimes they get things right. Since the oldest of these magazines is May 21, 2012, I thought I would read through them and choose a few of their EXCLUSIVES and then check whether they were right or wrong. 

In Couples News from May 21, Star claims that Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund are engaged. He allegedly proposed at Chateau Marmont during her birthday celebration. A quick Google search has Hedlund's rep shooting the rumors down with "so not true". Which seems way harsh, Hedlund's rep! Damn. 

Score: Star: 0  Reality: 1
Bethenny Frankel and her husband Jason Hoppy are calling it quits according to Star Magazine. I have no idea why anyone gives a shit about her, but there it is. Star claims that the pair have seen lawyers and that her mother told them that Bethenny "...cheated on her first husband after her first couple of months of marriage." Nice Mom!

According to Bethenny on her show (she has a talk show?), the rumors are not true. So for now, we'll go with the statement from the woman herself. 

Star: 0  Reality: 2

Star claims that Stacey Keibler is knocked up by way of George Clooney. Their proof seems to be this photo:

Do I even need to tell you that this rumor is false as well? Let me show you instead.

Star: 0  Reality: 3

50 Cent, Paris Hilton, Ashton Kutcher, and more celebrities don't write their own tweets. They pay someone to do that for them. This is...TRUE! You got one right, Star. Aw, aren't you pleased with yourself?

Star: 1  Reality: 3

Star claims that Kelly Osbourne got drunk on a flight June 19th. She had to be escorted from the plane by her helpers and she looked like shit. This one is also true. Including the drunkenness! I KNOW.

Star: 2  Reality: 3

See? They were right twice. Perhaps time will show that Kelly Preston really will leave John Travolta or that Justin Timberlake is conclusively cheating on Jessica Biel. Until then, three outta five ain't bad.

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