Monday, April 2, 2012

My Dirty Little Secret: It's HOT.


Some people eat an extra cupcake when no one is looking, some people flirt with folks they shouldn't, some people watch the movie Glitter unironically (maybe). Some people, um me, have a much deeper, darker secret...they shop at Hot Topic even though they are over the age of 18.

Yes, Hot Topic, the swirling centre of the vortex of suburban quasi-rebellion sold back to cranky teens.  I shop there and you know what? I LOVE IT!

I know, I know, emo kid, it breaks my heart that I'm uncool too, but it was going to come out eventually.
Folks, I'm 31. I am way too old to shop there without shame.  I have hidden at the back of Hot Topic so someone I know didn't see me.  Good news guys, he didn't see me but it turns out he shops there too and we learned a series of things about each other in a montage sequence set to, like a Katy Perry song or something (she's still cool, right?).  Or I just hid until he walked by and then he still saw me eating a giant messy burger later in the food court while listening to a Katy Perry song on my ipod (is she at least a little bit cool?)

Anyways, other then my unique ability to weird out guys, I have another special gift: finding deals. Well, Hot Topic is my secret gold mine.  

Walk by the t-shirts of bands that teens will swear up and down they never liked in 2 years (Owl City, I'm looking at you) and you're in cheap ass heaven.  Cute metallic eyeshadow for $2? Check! Eyeliner that matches your Hallowe'en wig? Check! Hot Pink lipstick that you will wear once in an attempt to change up your image and then carry around in your purse for 6 months as a kind of totem of your ability to transform yourself until it goes through the laundry making it look like you were hiding the evidence of your murder of some form of pixie...sigh, Check!

That'll show 'em I can't be labelled
Hot Topic is constantly selling off its make-up crazy cheap AND, unlike some of my other forays into dirt cheap cosmetics, I am yet to get an eye infection from any of their products (don't ever buy stuff from the dollar

I can't recommend a particular product because they are constantly discontinuing stuff.  However, I will give Hot Topic cosmetics in general a 6 out of 8 tentacles.  Everything is very cheap and its a fun way to try out fun and or stupid trends.  Just do what I do now and buy stuff online, that way you don't have to run to hide in the back of the store and almost knock the very nice, cute, skinny, 22 year-old art student employee off a ladder OR lie to him and tell him you're buying stuff for your baby cousin (sorry Ryan)     

Rating: 6/8 tentacles

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