Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Switching Teams: Ladies That Make Us Curious

I never want it to be said that we don't cater to women and men, gay and straight. Because we're all nothing if not admirers of the human form, male and female. In the spirit of that we would like to present the ladies that we would be perfectly happy to settle down with and get down to business. WINK!

As, for me, Pinky, I choose Diane Kruger. She is amazingly beautiful, her style is impeccable, she's ridiculously talented, and has an accent! I like to think she'd help me dress better and teach me German. She looks like she'd be an excellent kisser, too. Mmmm. And if we have to share Joshua Jackson to make things work? I'm alright with that.

Naya Rivera

Why would I switch teams for Naya Rivera? Well, first of all, she's sexy. Just look at her - that gorgeous hair, those long legs, that smile that just lets you know she's down for a good time. Secondly, she's a super talented singer, as anyone who's seen the show can tell you, and we could make some lovely music of our own together. And third, she's feisty and fierce and I love a strong woman. Yeah, she's definitely the top of my list. - MelBivDevoe

Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton has it all, she's tall, statuesque, elegant, and can tear you apart with a single intense glare. There is something about a woman who is secure in and embraces her unique brand of beauty, who wields it like a sword. Nevermind her brains; she muses "I'm basically interested in identity, and I still find fascinating the question (of) How do we identify ourselves, and how do we settle into other people's expectations for our identity?." That woman has it all. And I want all of her. Rawr. - Metric Jenn

Aisha Tyler

I don't get girl crushes very often. I have one in particular that I've had for almost ten years now. I've been crushing on Aisha Tyler since way back when she was hosting The Soup. She's just the kind of funny that I love, hangs out with dudes all the time, plays video games, loves learning new stuff and loves beer. Plus she's drop dead gorgeous? I usually just say that I'd love to hang out and be best friends with her, but really I want to do that plus have sexy makeouts. She seems like she's be a fantastic kisser, doesn't she? - Nepoleanita

Uma Thurman

It’s…her lips, let me just say that to begin with. Sure, we all know about Uma’s bazoomas – in fact I do recall one academy awards ceremony in which she was both pregnant and wearing a wildly low cut gown, and due to repeated flyovers of her breasts I am most certain those was everyone’s highlight of the show that year.

She has both a rough and delicate look to her – and is just exotic enough to play dippy love interests in horrid movies and extraordinary beauties in films like Baron Von Munchhausen, Dangerous Liasons and Henry and June – the latter of which is the film that convinced me beyond the pale that I would likely find a great many non-talking things to do with Uma should I ever get the chance to win her affections.

Plus, she’s funny as hell, tough as nails, and is one of the world’s great chameleons – always sublimating herself into wildly differing roles, while still being definitively….UMA. - Replica

Olivia Wilde

Anyone who knows me is aware of the very special place in my heart that is reserved for my future wife, Olivia Wilde. I adore her. I lust for her. I long for her. There's just something about a woman who knows how to employ a knowing smirk that catches my eye, and, believe me, with that smirk Ms. Wilde has captured both my eye and my fancy. Her eyes are playful yet seem to reveal hints of a daring, potentially dangerous side, and by god that is sexy. And her body? Lean and lithe and, in my imagination, ever so limber. Friends, this woman is liquid sex. And yet, sex isn't always the first thing I think of when I gaze at Olivia Wilde. In fact, I think she'd be a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with. Drink beers with. Hike with. Play softball with. And *then* have sweaty, mind-blowing sex with (I mean, come on, look at her).  - Kolby

Christina Hendricks - Vee

Helen Mirren - Dixie

Kate Winslet - Nora

Lara Stone - Rusty


  1. Great list! Some of my favs are on here (Hendricks, Winslet, Wilde). Jewel Staite and Eliza Dushku are both on my list as well (I don't care if the latter can act or not - she is hot).

  2. Excellent choices. My list would be: Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Emma Stone.

  3. Guess Who! (No, not Pookie)February 1, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    Kolby, you can hang out with Olivia all you like. I just want to fuck her. Repeatedly.

  4. Zoe Saldana for me. She is one of the most stylish women I've ever laid eyes on.

  5. My #1 girl crush is Carla Gugino, followed by Sophia Vergara, then Kristen Bell.

  6. Ms.Stone's particular assets are best observed if you turn safe search off when you Google her.

    It's like god heard someone say that you can't have a slender tall leggy blonde with a beautiful face and big perky tits because it's impossible and said "Oh, really?" And boom, Lara Stone.

  7. Fantastic list.

    Helen Mirren and Christina Hendricks can call me any time. Also, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Zoe Saldana, Monica Bellucci, Gillian Anderson... Well, like the menfolk, I could have a list as long as my arm.