Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Watch Me Wave My Magic (Mascara) Wand!: Maybelline Lash Stiletto Voluptuous


 I have a lot of hangups with this type of thing - I don't wear lower lash color since it melts on my face and I feel like Bimbo the Clown. I also have colorless lashes so unless you dig that stuff right in there, I get a weird halo effect around the eyes that is mildly disconcerting. And for some strange reason, I only ever see about six options in the black, so black, blackedy-dark-blue black, coal black, black as my skeptical soul, and ...blackest black? categories. Oh - and the ever-useful electric blue category, but wherefore art mine browns?

Everybody who is anybody knows that blondes and brunettes who like to take their advice from Golden Era screen goddesses known for ocular excess will recall that Bette Davis credited her gloriously appointed orbs to the gentle, eye widening effects of brown mascara. Who am I to oppose her will?

I picked up this Maybelline Lash Stiletto Voluptuous in brownish black thinking a) it actually is brownish for a wonder and b) I generally like the brand, (remembering fondly the pink and green Great Lash era).

So, you'll notice this weirdo looking, skinny, bendy brush. I know. I too was filled with meh after trying more than a few rounds of these new giant foam-jelly monsters with the miniature bristles. What was the plan with those things by the way? They look like sex toys for teenage Sea Anemones. Do they really have such a thing as mascara brush engineers, patiently crafting minute iterations of these things?

Well, this product looks like one of those guys finally went around the bend. You can't even see the brush shape when you look at it hard. It's like some kind of ouroboros, infinity device. Go ahead. Twist it around. Try to wrap your head around it. I'll wait.

So okay - it works amazingly well.

The wand grips exactly the right areas of the lashes, works as well as a curved brush does, but doesn't miss the corners, and it does the trick in no less than two swipes with a little twist/wiggle on the way up.

I'm absolutely delighted with it. I actually have 'almost like the commercial long thin non clumped lashes' with little to no effort. It's totally great. Best mascara I've purchased in over four years. And brown, Bette. I'll never forget. Recommend.

Rating: 8/8 tentacles


  1. Look at those lovely peepers!

    I've always been a fan of brown-black mascara myself. Black is too harsh on my lashes even though they're naturally dark. I didn't know that Bette Davis was a fan! Now I feel enlightened.

    "They look like sex toys for teenage Sea Anemones." - Hee!

  2. Your eyelashes are looooooooong! Pretty.