Sheer Ribbons? More Like Glue Ribbons

Nepoleanita

I was just at the grocery store scoping out the lotions because my current hand lotion is not cutting it in the battle against the generic hand soap at my new job. As I was staring at the bottle with glazed over eyes, I saw this...thing and did a double take.

What the hell is something that looks like mousse doing in the lotion section? Upon closer inspection, it is actually lotion. Gold Bond Sheer Ribbons Silk Softness lotion, to be exact. 


It's sort of like an aerosol pump thing that you press down and "ultra light and silky lotion" comes out and then it's just a matter of rubbing yourself. Struck by the novelty of an aerosol lotion, I considered just getting it, until I saw the price. $12 was a bit too steep for me to drop on a crazy fancy lotion without at least testing it out first. I gave it a shake and tapped the nozzle, figuring I would test a tiny amount on my arm. NOPE. A huge jet of lotion shot out onto my forearm. I had to rub it all over both of my arms for about five minutes before it even started to soak in. And that "light and silky" business? Lies. My arms felt like I had smeared mayonnaise on them. I was sticky for ages, and it started to irritate the skin on the back of my hands by the time I got to the car. Even though it was a gross feeling, I'm glad I tried it and saved myself from wasting twelve dollars on this weird lotion.

For some hilarity, watch the video on the product page.

Gold Bond Sheer Ribbons Silk Softness lotion gets a 2 out of 8 tentacle. I gave it two because it smelled pretty nice.

Rating: 2/8 tentacles