Monday, October 17, 2011

Best Halloween Costumes for Two! (And I Don't Mean Pregnant Ladies)

Author: Pinky McLadybits

Um, no.
Sometimes, when you go to Halloween parties, you or your spouse/partner/BFF4EVA get the great idea to dress in costumes that complement each other. When this happens you can either choose something stupid like this idiotic monstrosity on the left, or you can get creative and become a-MAH-zing! (I probably love Happy Endings more than I should, especially Penny).

I thought I should round up these couples costumes, but don't despair! They won't all be for a hetero-couple, either. Some will be for two ladies or two gentlemen. Because I'm an equal-opportunity matchmaker, you see. 

This sketch still cracks me up on those odd occasions where I actually watch a SNL. Ace and Gary are perfect for a couple of guys who enjoy making jokes about butts, dicks, and man-on-man humping. Seriously, Google these guys and check out the delightful poses the men wearing the costumes opted to enact. Just imagine the fun after a few beers! Or twelve!

Classic. That's how I would describe Morticia and Gomez Addams. Also creepy, kooky, and altogether ooky. They're also a fun costume for a couple. Gomez gets to chomp a cigar and go crazy when he hears Morticia speak French. Morticia is regal, sexy, and gets to wear a low-cut black dress. I would, however, suggest putting a slit of some sort in Morticia's LBS (little black shroud) so you can only do her signature walk when you want and not every time you need another round at the bar.

Grab a friend, get that hair up high, slide into the shiniest dress you can find, and be prepared to talk about your vast Post-It Notes fortunes. And whoever is dressing as Michele should memorize this: "Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right."

4. Shaun and Ed

My favorite movie is probably Shaun of the Dead. Shaun and Ed are some sweet costumes, especially since you have options with them. You can go with During The Zed-Word Invasion Shaun and Ed, seen at the left. You can go with Post Zed-Word Invasion and have Ed done up in zed-word makeup and carrying around a game controller, wearing chains, and drooling. You could go with the DTZ-WI and carry around records to throw at anyone you see as a threat. There's also classic cricket bat accessory, or the gun from The Winchester, a packet of crisps, SO MANY THINGS YOU CAN USE TO ACCESSORIZE! Don't forget, you've got red on you.

5. Jem & (one or more of) The Holograms

Crazy-colored wigs are easy to find right now. Hell, Target has pink and other colors on their shelves right now. Add in ridiculous makeup and costumes, cardboard instruments for the Holograms to carry around, and BOOM! COSTUME'D! You can also go the fancy route and google "Jem Costumes" and see that there are many outfits, earrings, and shoes to choose from. For those that preferred The Misfits (their songs are better), Google also has you covered!

6. The Tenth Doctor and Rose

To me, the Tenth Doctor is the best Doctor. And the sexiest Doctor. Pop your man (or willing best dude) into a tailored suit with pinstripes, messy coif, glasses if he's got them, and a pair of Chucks and you've got Tenth Doctor. As for Rose, let those roots show! Slide into a pair of jeans, some trainers, a low-cut shirt and a zip-up. Most comfortable Halloween EVER. Unless you go as a Snuggie Monster one year. Don't forget your Sonic Screwdriver and the keys to the TARDIS!

7. Spy Vs. Spy

Two ladies or two men or one lady and one man....IT DOESN'T MATTER. Because no one has to be "sexy" Spy and there is no implied joke concerning the sex had by the two people dressing up. WIN WIN WIN! You can also spend time at the party attempting to trick and/or embarrass the other Spy by pulling chairs out from under their ass before they sit, salting their unattended drink, or hitting them in the head with something blunt.

8. Spartan Cheerleaders

If you need something,
to wear that night
pop on these
you'll be alright!
One two
buckle my shoe,
three four

9. Killer Klowns From Outer Space

This movie scare the shit out of me when I was younger. It would come on HBO constantly and I would watch it every damn time while home alone. Whenever someone knocked on the door I just knew it was one of these homicidal klowns come to wrap me in cotton candy and suck my blood. And that's exactly why these costumes would be the awesome to wear for Halloween. Hell, Halloween Express even has props to go with them, like a cotton candy cocoon-wrapped dead guy! CAN YOU IMAGINE? I would be terrified to walk close to anyone in any of these costumes. And that's what Halloween is all about.

10. Any Group Of Superheroes and/or Villains

As long as they are actual superheroes and not female-sluttier-versions of male characters. That's goofy when there are so many female superheroes to choose from. Some of my favorites are Catwoman, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Batman, Wolverine, Joker, Harley Quinn, etc. I like comics.


  1. I would love to do Shaun and Ed! You're right, so many choices on the timeline to choose from... Also throwing out there, since I've seen this: Where's Waldo? and Carmen Sandiego.

  2. My picks for best Halloween duos would be Gomez/Morticia, Hades/Persephone, Riff-Raff/Magenta. Dark couples are best!