Ooops! I Did It Again!: Bic Soleil Disposable Razors

Pinky McLadybits

My legs are burning. BURNING. I had razor refills on my list and instead opted to get these disposable monstrosities. For you. For you people. I only live to serve and protect you and I BLEED FOR YOOOOOU!

I grabbed the Bic Soleil Lady disposable razors and chucked them into my cart. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have walked over to the housewares aisles, broken a plate, purchased it and used it to shave my legs. I would have gotten the same results. 

Pfft, I am not dramatic. 

Since spring has come early, bringing summer with it temperature-wise, I've been shaving my legs regularly. It is such a pain in the ass. I use my lemon sugar scrub and usually a Schick Quattro for women. Since the sugar scrub allows me to remove dead skin cells along with leaving my legs soft, the Quattro was getting gunky. I rinse it while using it, but the razors were not lasting as long. That made me a sad, and poor, panda. I decided that I would use these Bic Soleil monstrosities for my legs and bikini area and spare the Quattro the horror of being clogged with dead leg skin.

So dumb. 

Just as the Up & Up Disposable Razors tore my legs asunder, so did the Bic. Only this time it tore up my bikini area too. Sonofadickwad. I VOW VENGEANCE FOR MY BIKINI LINE. THAT SHIT AIN'T RIGHT. Anyway, I left the shower with blood all over my legs and bikini area, which is nasty. My right shin has razor burn bumps on it. My left thigh has razor burn. How can that happen when my legs were oily from the scrub??? ALIENS?!?

I am still in my bathrobe because I slathered on so much coconut oil in an attempt to shame the cuts into submission and I'm waiting on it all to soak in before I slide into some pants. This doesn't happen with my beloved Quattro. Have I learned my lesson? Will this be the razor that sliced off the camel's back? Maybe.

Rating: 0/8 tentacles