Ciaté Velvet Manicure: When Doves Cry

Dixie

The next time I see an unusual beauty product and think to myself, "That's so cool! I definitely need to try that," I'm goring to step back and count to ten. Sometimes, novelty beauty items lean more towards the novelty and less towards the beauty. Just as the LashBlast Luxe suckered me, so has the Ciaté Velvet Manicure.

At first glance, velvet nails sound pretty cool, right? A bit of soft furriness on your nails to keep in theme with your fall sweaters and scarves...until you remember that with use velvet becomes threadbare, like the antique sitting couch in your great-aunts parlor. That's what I should have considered before sinking $19 into this total bust of a product. I picked up a kit of the Berry Poncho, a nice purplish color that would get a silent nod of approval from Prince.

To say that the application of the velvet dust is to difficult is to say Antarctica is a bit nippy. After applying a base coat and following the directions for painting on the color, I began to apply the velvet. The instructions say apply a second coat of polish and while it's wet, tap a generous amount of velvet powder out of the container onto your nail and use the Little Black Brush (like Little Black Dress, GET IT? *jumps off bridge*) to spread it. What the directions should say are "Paint your nail with second coat. Now HURRY UP BEFORE IT DRIES AND EVERYTHING IS A DISASTER!! Apply a generous amount of velvet powder. Now put more on. More. STILL MORE, STUPID THE POLISH IS DRYING WHY ARE YOU SO SLOOOOOOWWWWW." My first nail was a disaster. The second nail was a tragedy. The third nail was so horrible that a thousand doves lost their wings in horrible explosions that made Michael Bay weep bitter tears. Even after I finally got the technique down, the application was still spotty at best.

One nail did turn out kind of cool and exactly what you would think. The middle finger on my right hand was velvety and soft. And good thing it was, too, because the most of my nails looked like that worn out velvet blazer that every thrift store everywhere has hanging on the dusty rack in the back. The rest of them looked like they had mange. At the end of the first day of wearing the manicure, I couldn't wait to get home and take this velvety shit off my nails.

Don't buy this stuff. Sephora carries it for $19 for the kit, but don't waste your money. Move your hand one foot to the right and buy yourself two bottles of SpaRitual polish instead. This shit gets INKED.

Rating: 0/8 tentacles