Norwegian Crap: Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Lip Moisturizer SPF 15

Dixie

My husband can tell you, I keep a tube of lip balm everywhere. One in each room of the house, by my bedside, a few in my purse, one in each car, even one in my daughter's diaperbag. EVERYWHERE.

I wouldn't say I'm addicted to lip balm because, frankly, to compare my need for lip balm to an actual addiction that someone could develop to drugs or alcohol is ridiculous. So, I'm not a lip balm addict, but I do get pretty cranky at the first sign of dry lips.

For the past few years, I've been working my way through a huge bag of promotionally marked shea and cocoa butter-based lip balms that my friend gave me back in our previous lives as pharmaceutical reps. (The perks of selling your life to the Mephistopheles that is Big Pharma? Cool swag!) I have to tell you, those are some good lip balms. In fact, they're the best I've ever used. But, I can't resist free samples with store products. The tube of Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Lip Moisturizer SPF 15 came as a free sample with...something. Maybe a tube of sunscreen for baby faces. I don't know. So, I figured it would give it a try and save myself the $4 it would cost me to buy a tube of good quality lip balm when my promotional ones eventually run out. *sob!*

At the risk of being trite, you get what you pay for; what I paid was nothing and I got nothing in return. If I had paid for this crap, I would have been pissed and demanded my money back. After keeping this with me in my purse and using it for a couple of months, I noticed that my lips ended that day drier than they started. Only when I got home and started to use my shea and cocoa butter-based balms would my lips begin to retain moisture again. To recap, the Lip Moisturizer made my lips DRIER, which is the OPPOSITE of moisturizing. There were actually a couple of days my lips were so dry that I mushed them together and swallowed so much my throat decided to dry out in sympathy. Makes no sense, but I am here to tell you that's what happened.

A look at the ingredients doesn't give me any insight as to what exactly the drying culprit could be. Maybe the petrolatum, maybe the paraffin. Either way, after going home and chugging a glass of iced tea to re-wet my throat, I threw a mostly full tube of lip balm in the garbage for the first time in my entire life.

I can't recommend that you buy this waste of cosmetic resources. You can find it at drug stores, Amazon, and Drugstore.com, but don't waste your money. Walk or click right past to a natural lip balm. It gets INKED with a 0/8 tentacles.

Rating: 0/8 tentacles

And just in case my title wasn't obvious enough to give you an earworm for the day, here you go:

"I once used a balm, or should I say, it once used me... 

It failed at it's job, isn't it crap, Norwegian crap?"