An Impassioned Defense of Yoga Pants by a Vancouverite

 Author: Replica

CLEARLY Vivian Song hasn’t spent much time in Vancouver, which she recently derided as the 3rd worst dressed city in the world in her recent MSN Travel article.

The focus of her ire was in particular: the Yoga Pant, taking a ‘them that shall remain nameless’ swipe at lululemon, local entrepreneurial powerhouse and yes, I’ll admit it, pioneering ‘lifestyle product’ visionaries.

Ms. Song derides the entire concept of flabby folk wearing soft pants as entirely sub-standard efforts at fashion mastery, but I think she has missed the point entirely.
Absolutely any product that entices the wearer to use it in order to create the underpinnings of beauty and style – a lithe, healthy, functioning body – should be lauded as a blessing to our poly-mega-nova-saturated-fat culture. A lululemon yoga pant certainly has the tailoring to create the best possible impression (an effect a local derriere connoisseur calls ‘luluBum’), but more than that, it creates the psychological impression that the wearer must also be a do-er.

Just try to make it out of a luluEmporium without a mat, water bottle and the resolve to purchase that hot yoga package that you’ve been considering to finally purge that baby fat you’ve held onto. In Vancouver, it’s POSSIBLE. Nay, Probable. The competition is way too fierce to go gentle into that good chubby night.

Our city is filled with bike lanes, walkable corridors, vast parks and outdoor amenities designed to activate pedestrians and cyclists into motion so that the greater population can reduce congestion, stay healthy, be ‘green’ and socialize. (and OMG – have you seen our ultra cyclist hottie Mayor? Walk the talk, Vancouver. For real.)

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the intense competitive aspect of our citizens. We churn out model-level profiles as a matter of course. Visitors feel intimidated in the face of our low BMIs, our Hollywood North visage, our hippie health standards, and supernatural outdoor celebrations. We’re also offensively active – the vast strata of quality active wear in this city would boggle the mind of even a practiced Vogue Accessories Editor.

It may not be the outside world’s idea of haute, but I’d dare say any one of us Van-luluBums could jump into the best of glad rags and make a giant international splash.

Now let’s get into lululemon a little more.

lululemon’s clothing range is extraordinary not because it seeks to create an appearance of hotness for its customers, but because it has linked itself with the only true measure of hotness an intelligent culture on the edge of consumption abuse can pierce its little claws into: the active pursuit of physical health.

lululemon products are perfect enablers for all forms of activity - extremely well constructed, customized for a variety of purposes and now even made to order in microshops (like the lululemonLab) that tailor your active-wear to your exact needs. It may be pricey, but this company delivers a product that lasts through many hundreds of Bikrams classes, months of absolutely vile grey Vancouver wet weather, and a metric tonne of Mommy-Stroller-Derbys.

This, in fact, is why I wrote this article. I have 7 year old lulupants that fit and feel as good as the day I bought them. They are perfect in almost every environment.

Any person strolling along Kits beach with eyes to see with blesses lululemon with all of his/her heart for the Joyous Bum-Looking they have bestowed upon us all. There are a bounty of hotties on this gorgeous West Coast that spend their extra hours living up to the promise of those stretchy, comfy, ready for anything yoga pants.

Schlubbing around aimlessly in lulus is akin to toting a faux-Birkin you got from the trunk of a Chevy. We all know it. We can tell.

In essence, Ms Song has confused the Chanel of active-wear with its wannabes, pretenders and also-rans. And even worse – suggested that Vancouverites don’t look better in them than anyone else!

The nerve.


*I wanted to note that Vivian Song’s tongue in cheek article was quite amusing and light hearted, but there’s no messing with the ego of a Vancouverite. Lesson learned, Ms. Song. Lesson learned. Sun Run at dawn, baby.

Rating: 8/8 tentacles