Friday, October 19, 2012

Halloween Decorations: These Are Scary For A Different Reason

Pinky McLadybits

Look how scared I am, you guys!
I like decorating my house for Halloween. If I had my way, I would have zombies climbing out of the flower beds, ghost hanging from the trees, vampires peering around tree trunks, orange and purple lights on the house, and psychotic killers hiding around the corner of the house.

Alas, I am married to a guy that hates decorations for all holidays. It's crazy. It makes me crazy. It probably makes him more crazy since I disregard him. He should be thankful that I only want the Halloween decorations that I do. He should realize that things could be much, much worse. I could have my heart set on some of these idiotic decorations.

This is not scary. This is stupid. Every one knows that the Reaper drives a Harley and his scythe rides bitch. Duh.

Did the zombie eat some dry ice? Are these the gases that accumulate after one's death? Does the zombie just stay there for atmosphere while his buddies attempt to eat your brains?

Uh. I asked for my pizza without Soylent Green.

If anything, this vulture is your best friend in a horror situation. He's gonna try to eat the zombies and the dead that haven't yet turned. That should slow the zombies down, being without eyeballs and various chunks of their bodies. Come on, vulture buddy. Let's get you fed.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DEAR GOD! IT'S AN ABOMINATION! Can you imagine how much gas costs for this thing?

It's clearly labeled. It stands over 3 feet tall. How is this scary? Oh. It's $19.99. GAH!

1 comment:

  1. "Alas, I am married to a guy that hates decorations for all holidays. It's crazy. It makes me crazy."

    THIS. This is also my life. Most of the holidays he tolerates it without comment, as I don't get *too* crazy much of the year. Christmas, though...that's another story. I grew up in a house where it looked like the Spirit of Christmas came and puked holiday cheer all over every surface. And I LOVED it. So I've been cultivating the same for our home, and Dan hates most of it.

    Men are weird. Like birds.