HI! This pug is my spirit animal, as I too Dutch Oven. Let's get to the links, shall we?
I've already told some people that if I were to get pregnant again, I would totally have a Gender Reveal Party. And the reveal would consist of lifting a box from the top of a cake that is shaped like either a penis or a vagina. (The Telegraph)
Then I'll wrack my brain in an attempt to outdo my neighbor's badass nursery. (Uproxx)
Then after the baby is born, I'll totally eat only vegetables seasoned only with placenta and drink water to lose the baby weight and spare myself the embarrassment of being Less Than Perfect immediately after shooting a person from betwixt my loins. BEING A WOMAN IS AWESOME. (The New York Times)
Speaking of being impregnated, I want to have this man's babies. RIGHT NOW. (via Reddit)
Perhaps I could charm him into my bed with my knowledge of Victorian filthy language. I'm super classy! (Mookychick)
If we were done having kids, I could get him to take this newly discovered men's birth control. (The Week)
Heee! This headline is bananas! (get it? get it?) (Huffington Post)
It seems that people don't hate Monday alone. Looks like someone can have a case of the Wednesdays! (BBC News)
Need some advice on how to sleep? XANAX! Want some real advice? (The Awl)
I like eggs. I like burgers. But this, I'm not too sure about. (FoodBeast)
I do adore these singing celebrity men. (Pajiba)
This dude is totally unimpressed by your petty rollercoaster and he cannot wait to get off of it and ride the giant swings.